Random whatevs thoughts on a Thursday.
1. Found him!
L-Ron has been crook .
So that's why he's been so quiet about all the government-led jocular hi-jinks of late, like sending the Bakhtiyari family off to Pakistan without passports or identification - HAHAHAHA, HOW ARE THEY GOING TO GET OUT OF THIS RICHLY COMIC SCRAPE? - or, y'know John Howard putting the pinch on tsunami victims - HAHAHAHA, PAY UP BEFORE YOU CLEAN UP, MUDDY DARKIES!
It's one thing to have The Kong laid up in hospital (although I was totally itching to have him throw a faux-fur wrap around his shoulders and lay down a glamorous sick-bed press statement, Joan Crawford -style) but WHERE THE FUCK IS LAURIE FERGUSON ?
Surely, too, everyone's favourite sound-bite Kevin Rudd has a passing opinion he'd like to share.
Jesus fucking christ.
2. Dinner's up!
Have you ever had dinner cooked for you by someone wearing knee-high boots, leopard-print underwear, a red-lace bra and an apron? No? You should totally call me, then. I kill at it, if last night's anything to go by. And I charge competitive rates.
3. Birthday gifts!
It was totally not my birthday yesterday yet I was showered with gifts by my beloved pen-pal and life partner . Apart from some quality Seppo skin-mags and a dirty-word dictionary (he knows me too well), he also bought me a fuzzy-letter t-shirt with the words 'G is for GANGSTA' on it. Which, considering I'm about the whitest-bread whitebread in all of white-land, looks so fucking street right now.
4. Dorkfest!
Okay. We're now officially allowed to slap Sydney GrogBloggers in the face with a nancy-boy white glove and issue the challenge - who are the hottest, most groggest bloggiest bloggers in the land? Come to Bourgie next Friday night and find out.
Any photos of me with one or both bosoms out after the event will clearly have been doctored and are not to be used for wank fodder.
Check the teen pin-up goodness of Agent Fare Evader for further details.
Do you not love the 'who's who?' part? We are so Lillian Frank right now.
1007 days til the next election.
Comments
Some help Laurie Fergusson would be, here's what he'd probably say:
"I'm sick of all the whinging lefties and their out of touch crap about asylum seekers, send the Baktawhatevers to the dogs. What Sunarmy?"
Wish I could go to Grogblogging and booze it up but I am too poor to afford the flight. I suck... However I'm sure you kittens will have tonnes of illicit fun and you'll totally shame your Sydney counterparts.
Remember - when recounting stories afterwards, be sure to amplify and talk up *everything*. An example...
TRUTH
While walking to get to the bar, Agent FareEvader accidently let his hand brush against Ms Fits' derriere, causing embarrassment and much blushing between the two. Adorable!
RETELLING IT ONLINE THE NEXT DAY
After a frantic group pash, Agent FareEvader bent Ms Fits over like a plastic fuck doll and thrust so hard into her womanly love-oyster, she could feel his rock hard shagdrill tickling her tonsils. HOTT! YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THERE! IT WAS IN NO WAY A NERD CONVENTION! xxx
'Womanly love-oyster'??
Somebody get Jess a hose.
I appreciated the usage of the words "Teen Pin-up", "Agent FareEvader" and "Wank fodder" in the same sentence. But yes, Jess is right. In retrospect, and with the same sort of New Idea sensationalist treatment, Sydney Grogblogging looked like a veritable swedish-language EUROPEEAN SEXXEN ORGIEN rather than the innocent gathering of the brainiacs that it was.
A hose? Are you saying my love-oyster is whiffy and needs a rinse, Ms Fits?
"Uncanny insight", Fits.
Wish I could be there.
Oh, on the bit about Howard refusing to cancel debt from the affected countries - his argument is that it's better to give aid, because forgiving the debt is often not helping the victims, it's just helping private companies. Better to send aid.
Which, provided that we send sufficient aid, might be a reasonable argument. Not that I'm saying he's not evil personified with ridiculous eyebrows, or that he's telling the truth, but it may conceivably be a sensible and more helpful approach. If it was us who'd been hit, I'd rather foreign aid was coming to us as people rather than going to whichever private company had racked up the biggest foreign debt.
Although I may conceivably be talking out my arse.
Once when I stayed at my Gandmother's house and she cooked dinner for me wearing knee-high boots, leopard-print underwear, a red-lace bra and an apron?
Was I meant to read something into this?
Dont worry eveyone, the world will soon be ok. George Bush from the kindness of his own heart has donated money from his $US17 million private worth, yes he has donated almost $13,000 (yes thirtEEN thousand) and thats in Australian dollars... god bless America.
A
Fits,
"...dinner cooked for you by someone wearing knee-high boots, leopard-print underwear, a red-lace bra and an apron?"
is an exemplary offer, which I'm astonished is being ignored. Do you take virgin blue credit cards, or is your operation too posh?
If no real conservatives show up I'll play the role and attempt to stop any potential horning on from taking place.
Adam 1.0
'Womanly love-oyster'??What, may I ask, is a manly love-oyster?
Do you REALLY want me to answer that, Rob?
You know I'll make up some sort of repulsive nonsense if I have to...
Apparently you can find them for $24.50 a kilo down at the South Melbourne Markets, fresh from Port Phillip Bay. Tastes like Womanly Love Calamari, but saltier.
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