Reasons why my ex-boyfriend was a cocksmoking ass*.
1. He had a huge head and tiny body. Like Quentin . Or those children with ageing disease who Ray Martin likes to hug all the time.
2. He would insist on carrying a 'traveller' of beer in a brown paper bag wherever we went.
3. He wore his mother's old tight black jeans from the 1960's. With no underwear.
4. He couldn't promise to be faithful to me, quoting the old faithful: 'what goes on tour, stays on tour'.
5. He would curl up into the foetal position and weep at the mention of his ex-girlfriend's name.
6. If I liked a particular song or performer that he didn't like, he would sing the songs loudly in a spastic voice so I wouldn't like them anymore.
7. He made fun of me in radio interviews.
8. He used to fart so loudly in his sleep that he'd wake himself up.
9. He once got so angry he punched my toilet.
*In all fairness, I behaved absolutely appallingly at the end of the relationship and was quite the cocksmoking ass myself. But still. He sucked.
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Ohhh anonymous commenting! Go Blogspot!
5. He would curl up into the foetal position and weep at the mention of his ex-girlfriend's name.The thing about this is, for some other poor woman (or possibly a few women), you're the ex-girlfriend their boyfriends are curling up into foetal positions over. So look on the bright side!
--therapy
you are a mess
What a champ you are. 10 points to you on writing such a bloody beautiful diatribe.
I too loathe my exboyfriend because the sack of shit is a lying cheater. But you know, i'm sure you would understand that we dated these people once upon a time because they had some good in them. What I can't understand is why they can't enforce that good and that respect when ending it?
Breakups don't always have to be messy, it's only if you chose to make it like that.
Good on you for venting! :D
My ex-BF is a total nasty ass who clearly needs a good slap. He owes me over £5,000 - and has done for some time now - and despite taking him to court, winning the judgement against him, him being ordered to pay back the money within two weeks by the court, - and despite him being fully employed with a rich (over £1.5 million) family - , he has still not paid me a penny! I have the law on my side now, but it is a very long and expensive procedure. He is now 'promising' to pay it back in bits and bobs over the next three years!!!!
Arrrrgggghhhhh!!!!!
Things I have learnt from this:
1. Men can be bastards;
2. Don't lend out money to your partner (we were together for over 4 years before I did…and it still went wrong!);
3. The mother-in-law from heaven can turn into the mother-in-law from hell quicker than you can say 'but your son owes me'
4. Get a girlfriend! - That’s what I've done – best move ever!!!! ;0)
What a dick head, my ex-bf would probably fill out this entire page though....
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