Roomies.
So I'm up in a sticky and damp Sydney, where hotpants are being meticulously ironed for tomorrow night's Mardis Gras and I'm doing stomach exercises to cope with tonight's ten-course Tetsuya's banquet.
I had to visit my dad up here, as he's moved to Darlinghurst to work for a year. I've found it quite amusing that he's ended up with a roomie - a somewhat eccentric female script editor who is around his age; mid-fifties. Dads aren't supposed to have roomies. They're supposed to be wearing too-high shorts in the garden and making funny noises in front of test cricket.
I keep imagining them doing each other's hair in front of the Michael Jackson trial re-enactment. She could plait his beard, he could rub her feet and talk about boys while they ate Kingston biscuits and giggled manically into the night.
At least, those were the sort of images I was entertaining until we went back to their apartment after dinner.
Can you guess which of the following pearls she delighted us with?
1. 'I'm a born-again Christian!'
2. 'I'm a born-again Neo-Nazi!'
3. 'I'm a born-again Neo-Con!'
4. 'I'm a born-again Hootie and the Blowfish fan!'
1. 'I'm glad George W was re-elected!'
2. 'I'm glad John W was re-elected!'
3. 'I'm glad Jet have sold several million copies of their debut album 'Get Born'!
4. 'I'm glad Christopher Reeve is dead! Stupid cripple!'
1. 'I think Andrew Bolt is a brilliant blogger!
2. 'I think Fred Durst is a brilliant blogger!'
3. 'I think Tim Blair is a brilliant blogger!'
4. 'I think you are a brilliant blogger!'
And finally:
1. 'When my son and I are online we join pro-facism discussion groups!'
2.'When my son and I are online together we use pseudonyms and cause mischief on left-wing blogs!'
3.'When my son and I are online we dupe children into giving us money!'
4. 'When my son and I are online together we cyber other mother-son couples on adultmatchmaker.com!'
And my father wondered why I left a cartoonish Ms Fits-sized hole in the front door trying to get the fuck out of there.
950 days til the next election.
Comments
I'm too scared to even consider picking one of those options...
i'm with clem.
i want a blow by blow account of the meal. you must write it all down
I'm with Sugar - on the 2nd part.
A: 1, 2, 3 and 4.
Hang on - I misread the Adult Matchmaker bit which couldn't possibly be true, please. Make it: 1, 2, 3, 3.
or 1, 4, 3, 2.
I scrolled to the back page, and didn't find the answers. That trick normally works, right?
Hang on! I’ve met Ol’ Man Fitz and I can’t recall him having a beard?
So we'll see you at the parade tomorrow? I'll be the only american wearing ass exposing chaps...
1, 2, 3, 2?
I was hoping for 4, 3, 4 but there's nothing at the end that'd be appropriate.
How truly terrifying. Was your dad sympathetic to her views?
Hmmm...... many of those answers are too disturbing to consider....
Here's hoping your dad has the spine we would expect from a Mr Fits Snr.
And Seppo. I HIGHLY doubt that ..
Oh, what a horrible story. I'm so sorry for you.
Let's kill her.
ms fits
i have a born again in the family so i can empathise, but take heart you got 52 comments and you didn't have to bare your tits or your tush can't be bad.
I liked her so much more when I thought she ate Kingston biscuits in front of the telly. After reading on I feel funny.
And not ha ha funny.
Quickie, howdidya stumble upon Chelsea P's blog (there must be 1000000 blogs out there)? I was looking for Japanese toilet seat warmers myself (as ya do) and came across Andrea Harners blog (soon to be her sis in-law). Just curious, I read both your blogs (separately for yonks) dunno just strange that you linked. Anyways.
Hey Fits: How long has Chelsea Peretti had a link to RYWHM?
Fitsy made a spelling mistake! There's no "s" at the end of "Mardi".
The answers - repulsively - are 3, 1, 3, 2.
And I can't remember how I found Chelsea Peretti. I only know that my life is the richer for discovering her.
Ohhh, I'm disturbed too. The Kingstons and snuggly toes and face-licking round the hotwaterbottle was such a lovely image ...
Two and a half questions:
Is your pappy's roomie hot?
Does she have a blog? And if so, what is its URL?
Love,
Spart
3, 1, 3, 2?
Sounds like with age has come wisdom.
'...I ***had*** to visit my father...'
Yuk.
I'll stop reading right there.
3, 1, 3, 2?
Bingo!
What do I win?
Don't worry about it, ms fits. You'll grow up too some day, with a bit of luck.
Well, one can only hope.
Gee I love watching the tolerant, compassionate Left in action.
Please note: PRODUCER not editor .
I do hope Ms. Fits (who I have known and cherished since she was 6 years old )pays more attention to accuracy of credits in the show she is producing.
Ol Man Fits is proving to be a bit of a worry. On the Saturday of Mardi Gras Parade he went out and came back with a spunk rat haircut. Was he trying to emulate MattyB or has Sydney worked its limp wristed magic upon him? The gays in our apartment block are batting their eyelashes in the lift.
I want a mattyb haircut!
Ooooo, poor little thing... It's soooooo hurtful to listen to something out of the PC line.
Comments are closed.