Reasons you will hate me

ok, I'll start...

I think I want to have an open relationship but I'm too scared to ask my partner.

I didn't think Last Man Standing was all that good, but I'm afraid to say so in public because Ms Fits may not invite me to one of her pyjama parties.

As you well know I crush dissent, both on this website and in real life. Also, constructive criticism makes me cry like a girl. So it's probably a good thing that you keep your damn opinions to yourself.

i am trying to ignore the fact i have a drinking problem.

okay, i just want to point out that despite the fact your name doesn't come up, any websavvy geeker can check where a post has come from by checking the IP address...so I, for one, am not anonymously admitting anything remotely incriminating for fear of retribution and dissent crushing...

peace.

I (quite) often fantasise about two people who I work with, who 'cemented their relationship' on a grog-fuelled Friday night, having sex.

As they now live together and therefore arrive at work together, I wonder if they have week day morning sex. If they do, is it quick one at 7am or do they build it up from 5am? I wonder if the sex is good or amazing, bad or horrendous.

I can stop seeing my therapist now I've finally exorcised this pesky little secret.

I swear on fucking Bob Ellis (a rigid swear, for reals) that I don't know how to check IP addresses and wouldn't bother for fear of taking away some of the confessional magic.

Don't be shy, anon. I promise I am web-tarded and only in it for the titillation.

When I was about 18, I was masturbating in my bedroom. I decided it would be a good idea to slide my backside up the wall so that my legs were pointing upwards. The affect was that my cock was above me.

I preceeded to cum onto my face and into my mouth. I really liked it.

How many woman swallow?

I have been trying to break up my friend's marriage for seven years. He doesn't know I'm in love with him, but every time I see him I take the opportunity to whiteant his wife.

yes I know I'm disgusting.

OK, I'll bite. What exactly is "whiteant"-ing? Does it involve forcing someone to eat termites? I could understand some would find that disgusting.

*guiltily switches to witchety grubs*

even 'annoymous', i fear people will know who this is.

so, I'm playing up with my best friends girlfriend. i thought i was gay. i thought she was gay.

the end.

Termites are referred to as 'white-ants'. To white ant is to behave like a termite. ie to 'eat away' or otherwise destroy.

Anonymous poster number 4, forget IP addresses- I recognise your writing style.

Peace.


Anonymous number 1- tough one, a friend of mine was in this situation, but they worked it out and have lived in an open relationship, successfully, for years.

I'm old and soon to be married so I've nothing good to add. Oh, before I became partnered, almost 50% of my lovers were married or in long-term relationships.

I'm not proud, but it definitely added urgency and hotness to the sex.

Armaniac, are you counselling my anonymous posters?

i read my best friend's emails. she told me the password when she was drunk. She deletes my messages and keeps everyone else's, and uses all my best lines on other people.

My confession is that I like to counsel other people's anonymous posters.

I'm such a loose blathering cuntferbrains that I tell everyone everything anyway.

I suppose I can confess that if people tell me anything private (eg "I'm in love with my boss" "I like to root while wearing gumboots" "I killed and ate my mother" blah blah etc) I must be expressly commanded not to pass on information to all manner of random cunts (postman, fruit shop lady, tram driver, etc). More effective if command is accompanied by threats.

In the spirit of being a loose blathering cuntferbrains I'm not going to post anonymously.

I can't see why any of those comments were anonymous. Most of those confessions are badges to wear with honour.

Blogging is anonymous anyway so here goes...

I've slept with an american actor (male).

I've pissed over a 10th floor balcony and most of the people below thought it was a random shower.

Like Armaniac mentioned, most of the people I have slept with are either married or attached. That's the way of the world I guess.

I feel clean now.

I regret the blogger name I chose...

I avoid getting involved with anyone or having sex because I assume they will all think like him...

ahh fuck it. im currently sleeping with someone who i know is not as attractive as i am. im just doing it because its easy and no stress, but when we are doing anything physical i just lie back and think about someone else far hotter.

="are you counselling my anonymous posters"=

Sorry, habit, see comment timed 1:18pm above.

Russell, did you do all of those in the same night? On the same balcony?

I avoid getting involved with anyone or having sex because I assume they will all think like him...

How do you know it's a "him"? Was it the "i just lie back" that tipped you off?

Fair point... an assumption on top of my assumption!

I guess I said 'him' because hims are my preference (usually). I would think the same about any hers that might show an interest as well, for that matter.

I read PostSecret every week because I find confessions fascinating, too.

I love my Dad, I love my sister but there isn't a single thing I like about my Mum.

I don't know you well enough. I don't know you at all.

Can I have the link anyway?

I made my confession at Nadine's Spill-A-Secret Wednesday.

I wanna finger bang fits whilst at dinner in a posh restaurant.

My grandmother died in a mental hospital before I was born. My mother has been confined & under treatment for acute paranoia for the past 10 years including shock therapy. I've barely had more than a few hours sleep per night for almost as long. Every day, internally I'm almost paralysed by fear, but externally I'm professional, assertive, funny, happy and adventurous. I'm sure no-one, not my friends or family or colleagues, has even the faintest suspicion. I've seen how horrible it is, and I know I'm on the same slippery slide, waiting to be overwhelmed by it any moment. But I can't tell anybody and I can't seek help.

although you say differntly both online and in person, i dont think you like me at all.

and that kills me.

I sometimes wonder just who the hell you are- in the nicest possible way. Tell us some truths.

Every single FUCKING time I have sex I think of Ms Fits.

Think I know one of you pretty well, anonymouses... just guessing though... I have more secrets than i would like. My confession is that I spend my life hovering on the border of two countries, madness and misery, and both are infinitely dark, terrible, and vast. Really. I feel like that every fucking day.
My really big secret, though is that I've started going to church... my friends would be appalled...

I only link to this blog to fit in.

Nothing I have will ever be enough and it has fucked every relationship I've ever been in.

I'm the type of person who gets into a relationship but keeps looking in the hope of something better.

Russ you tease, spill about the actor.

Anon #19, what's stopping you getting help?

I am so repressed I cant even properly confess anonymously. I enjoy being single but am often very lonely. I have not had a crush in years.

I'm thinking about having sex with the person who broke my heart. In fact, I fantasize about it all the time. Down to the smallest detail.

My ex-boyfriend, obsessed with female ejaculation, wanted to see if he could make me 'spurt'.

I knew that it wasn't going to work, but was aware it meant heaps to him.

So before sex I drank heaps of water, and when he was licking my clit, I pissed on him a bit and pretended I was coming. He absolutely loved it!

Can any other girls actually spurt, or is it just bullshit made up to fool gullible men? I don't know anyone who'll admit to it.

*stares open-mouthed at dazzling array of confessions*

To Armaniac - different days, fortunately.

Spike - I would if I could, but it might resurrect their career.

To anon at 606pm, this is a good place to start.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talk:Female_ejaculation

i had a threesome with my ex and her new boyfriend once, just so i could be with her again. though me and the other guy hated each other at the time, and were both only indulging the gal in question, he's now one of my best friends.

i consider myself an educated, wordly, compassionate pro-feminist man. i still wonder what nearly every single woman i meet or see would be like in the sack, what particular things she might do or like me to do to her, and how we might fuck - in interviews, at work, first meetings at parties, anything. regardless of intelligence or personality or looks. just to marvel at the sheer variety of possibilities. it's not a power or conquest mentality, i'm just fascinated by the permutations. and horny as a goat.

Once, when I was having a really bad week, I left an insulting anonymous comment on a friend's blog. Then I felt guilty, thinking it might be fucking with his head, so I confessed. It had the opposite effect to what I thought. He'd actually dismissed the comment as being from some worthless shitbag troll but now I was making him wonder if other anonymous comments were actually from people he considered friends.

I thought if he knew it was me he'd dismiss it as just being me in one of my "moods".

I am so, so sorry.

I really want to come out as being the Pandagate "Diana Elgar" hoaxer, coz it's the anniversary soon.

I'm secretly gay. unless I forgot to change my identity to anonymous

and as if anyone wouldn't pick who a certain person in this was if they knew their writing well enough just from their writing style. plenty of people pointing to computer screens and going I KNEW IT

I kept all those nude pics of ex girlfriends that I said I burned. One day they'll all go up on the interent! hahahaha!!!1

I masturbate when I listen to your radio show because I fell in love with your voice. That was long before I found this website/LMS etc

My other half has been overseas for 3 months and I KNOW she's been good. Problem is, she's due back in 2 days and I HAD been good up until last night. Best. Damn. Sex.

Now it's AM and the guilt has set in.

I did that too.

To the pretend-ejaculating woman.

About a year ago I read all about how to make a woman ejaculate, with the intention of trying it on my wife.

Unfortunately she thought the whole idea was disgusting. I was left feeling really guilty, though I suppose that's better than getting a mouth full of piss.

Dear Shoe Queen,

I'm really jealous, as experiencing female ejaculation is something that I really want to do.

Oh well, I'm pleased to hear that it does actually happen though.

Sorry but I have one last question that you don't have to answer - but do you find that the amount of ejaculation is proportional to the intensity of the orgasm?

Mt girlfriend slept with my best freinds wife the day they got married. An hour after the vows. No-one konws. I know about it, it disturbs me but excites me all the same. I have even masturbated to the thought dozens of times. Is this wrong?

I accidentally Shoe-Horned a Cabbage into a Booth once, but later felt bad when it leapt into action LIKE A FUCKING CABBAGE. I still bear the scars 'to this day' (as it happened only six days ago).

Kind Regards,
Anonymous Confessional Wizard

This post has been removed by a blog administrator.

I took photos of myself naked for money.

I am fat and prudish.

I answered one of those desperado ads in the newspaper to find a casual sex partner. I'm hot, and I could've asked any of my guy friends, or a random stranger for that matter, and they wouldn't have turned me down, but I decided to go the ad route instead.
The guy sounded hot on the phone, so we met up. I fucked him, but it was so shit. He was fat and had a little dick. He told me it was big.
If he'd been any good in bed, even at oral, I'd probably still be fucking him.
I really really really hate it when guys have little dicks, and they think they're big. That pisses me off. If you've got a small dick, just say so. And practice your oral. Seriously.
Thanks Ms. Fits, I do feel better now!

Ms Fits does so much for us. I shall do a little something for her..a David Sedaris book signed and addressed to her by name.

Just in time for Xmas.

Ugh, mine's horrible. When I was 16 or 17 (i.e. under legal age), I posed nude for some photos, and let's just say they weren't tasteful. Sex toys may have been involved.

Now I know I can never become famous or super successful in any way, shape or form because I'm terrified these pics will come out and ruin my life. Although I was underage, so that's the only thing I have over this guy who took the pics - but I'm still petrified!

Despite everything I've achieved, I feel like a failure, because I can't stop comparing myself to other people and seeing their successes as so much better than mine and their lives as so much better than mine.

I once played a song on the guitar to a friend of mine from the UK and he assumed I wrote it. It was really written by a woman who plays a lot around Melbourne but I guessed he'd never find out so I took the cred and said it was one of mine.

Shoe Queen: he stuck his head up and whispered "tell them Monday"

Priceless. Fucking priceless.

I have only had sex once and have basically lost interest as I wasn't very good. However, I wank a lot. I am good at that.

David H asked: "do you find that the amount of ejaculation is proportional to the intensity of the orgasm?"

The answer is: It depends. For a more detailed response, go here

I was going to post my explanation here, but it became a bit too long-winded. It's not the first time I've been asked this sort of question before, so I decided to create a little forum for it. Feel free to ask anything else you'd like to know about the topic.

I love this anonymous shit!

And my last confession (not coz I don't have any more, but coz I think you've all heard enough from me):

I have had sex in every QANTAS Club in Australia, except for Darwin (the only one I haven't been to). I knew every partner beforehand, but it was only with my husband twice.

Qantas Club lounges are by far the best for having sex in. Soooo roomy...

FYI - my girlfriend of 10 years is an "ejaculator", which caught me by surprise at first. It's clear, tasteless nad occurs at orgasm. Just watch out if you're underneath!! It's nothing like the stupid net porn things. That's just girls squirting a bit of piss! YUK!!

I left my girlfriend 3 months ago. We had a kid together, she inseminated me, so I guess that's called having a kid together in Sydney. Anyway, I've been shagging someone else for the last two months and it's really good and she loves me but now I realise the one I left is the love of my life.

i cant think of anything to write.
ive read everyone else's.

i pashed a guy didnt know or like on thursday night, and i might sleep with him next week.
im in love with a boy thats not in love with me.
i dont respect my parents.
im a female and i ejaculated last week for the first time, while masterbating.
i kissed my cousin when i was ten, he was eight.
ive accidently not returned clothes i have borrowed in the past, including the vest i am wearing right now.
i borrow from petty cash at work.
i want to go down on one of my girl friends but im not gay.

maybe i just had to start/// excuse the confessional dieurretic

Best
Comments
Box
EVER

Bar NONE.

Oh no, my IP has matched the post about the guy who went down on a dog.

My last girlfriend was a squirter - my new girlfriend isn't. I really, REALLY miss it and I'm not sure I'm going to be fully satisfied with her. Everything else is fine and now we're living together but the desire for a good squirt is always at the back of my mind.

When I was growing up, my folks split and married other people. Dad's new wife had 5 kids, with 2 girls still living at home.

We did the usual fortnightly weekends at Dad's and it wasn't long before the elder of the girls took me by the hand for a little bit of experimentation. I was 8 - she was 11.

We started with a little fingering/fondling - I think the first time was in the back seat at the drive-in for a family outing, then she got more brazen and would get a blanket to put over our laps as we sat on the couch watching Countdown, when she'd guide my hand down - which progressed to fucking - shared baths, quickies in the toilet, watching Sounds on TV in her bed on Saturday mornings.

One time in the bath, Dad walked in and she said she was just reaching for the soap over me - I still wonder if he knew about it all, especially when I could smell her pussy all over my fingers when he would come in to my room to say goodnight. One time, watching Sounds, my little sister was in the room as well and she looked under the covers at the other end of the bed - I think she was too young to understand or figure out what we were doing. She asked and elder sister said we were tickling...

Whenever we were fucking, I had this feeling of wanting to piss in her - I was still to young to cum. In year 7 some friends and I were talking about doing it and I said I had and one other guys brought up the pissing thing - it was simultaneously making me feel normal about the feeling and confirming that he wasn't bullshitting.

This went on for a year or two, then... in a very rare occurence, the younger sister came over and stayed at my house. We had gone to bed (bunks) and were chatting. I can't remember how the conversation went but I think it was my idea to get some cards and play strip poker. I had to talk her into it a little bit but she succumbed. I won and she didn't have any clothes on. I didn't say anything, I just touched her, which led to fucking. I was still too young to come but I was used to that by then. She was 2 years older than me.

After that night, we had a nervous energy together and when I went back to Dad's the next weekend she asked if I wanted to play cards. This, very quickly, became our code for "come into my room tonight and we'll fuck."

I have no idea how much the sisters talked to each other about any of this but the elder one picked up on the code word and began using it too. That continued regularly for a while and then became more an occasional treat.

There was one night, when it'd been some time since I had fucked with the elder one, when I was sleeping on a folding bed in her room. I can't remember why we'd stopped for so long - we didn't actually get on that well during the day - lots of fights - over bullshit about the step-monster playing favourites with 'her girls' - that was probably it... Anyways, we're put in the same room and the old habit kicks in. She'd got herself some pubic hair and that was very weird. But SO exciting and erotic.

I was a troubled child and, when I was 13, I was sent to live with my Dad and step-monster. That meant changing schools, living out in the middle of fricken nowhere and being at the same school as the step-sisters. By this time, the fucking had pretty much stopped.

One night the three of us were in the elder sister's room, watching the kids' TV together. Elder sister decides to go have a shower or phone a friend or something and younger sister and I start talking about the boys she likes and the neighbours and onto sexual exploits.

She says she's sucked some guy off, I find this a little spurious - it was an older friend of one of the neighbour boys - and dare her to suck me. I wind her up enough and eventually she agrees. I unzip - still sitting on the floor, resting against the bed - and she starts in. It was the best I'd ever had - mind blowing - and I suddenly get this weird feeling. I'm cumming. She pulled away and it just spurts up and straight back down. That was the first time I ever came. We both freak out a bit - I zip up and a couple of minutes later the other sister comes back in. Younger sister and I are very giggly and making jokes - I pull out a classic couple - What's white and hangs from telephone lines? Tele-cum! Another one about the second coming of Jesus - can't remember how it goes...

That was the last time I did anything with either of the sisters. I sat an entrance exam for some other school in the city and got in and managed to escape pergatory at the end of the year.

I don't think about those days much anymore but it still gets me turned on when I do. Fucking two sisters on alternating nights for years... I think the strangest thing - apart from the whole "Dude, you're fucking your step-sisters" thing - is that I never tongue kissed either of them. It was only ever a biological/lust thing and never involved any emotion - but it was still goooood.

The whole step-family was bogan central and the house was out past Dingley - it's no wonder we started fucking - there was nothing else to do out there. Dad got his second divorce 14 years ago. We don't see any of them anymore. Elder sister had got herself preggo and moved to a town just out of Shepparton with the boyfriend.

The last time I saw younger sister, she had some trashy looking engagement ring on and was talking about having to start a scrag fight with some chick at a club because she called the younger sister a 'skinny bitch'. Fat chance.

No fucking idea what the step-monster is doing these days and I don't fucking CARE. She was horrible with her favourites games and she was fucking stupid - like really dense. I still haven't asked Dad why he put us through that...

The finger-banging and fucking were about the only good thing I got out of the whole thing.

I've never, EVER told ANYONE about any of that. It's a little tricky when the question of 'when did you lose your virginity' comes up.

Thanks for the chance to share, Ms Fits.

I once killed, and have lived every minute of my life in fear of being found out.

I thought Miranda Airey-Branson was a bit hot.

I have never given a guy a blowjob. The idea of it makes me feel like a degraded whore, you know, "I sucked a lot of cock to get where I am". I'm also worried about what I'd do with the cum. The idea of swallowing it is so gross, but spitting is even grosser.

I've only ever told two people this, both male friends I wanted to fuck. They were both drunk and I don't think they remember. My female friends know I don't like it and think I'm silly because blowjobs are 'empowering'. I know that if I told them I've never done it, they would be all patronizing and offer me 'advice'.

I had a crush on Fits since I starting reading this blog. But I think you and your friends would be arrogant in real life and dismiss me if we ever met.

You remind me of the 'cool' group at high school. And through the blogs you still have all the nerds sucking up to you. And that kills me.

I was an ostracized dork in high school, anon. Please don't make assumptions about me.



Well, any more than you may have already after the heralding of half my personal life throughout the blog.

there's a limit on the amount of your life you can be cool in.

either you're cool at school, and get pregnant by several different people and work in the supermarket as an adult, or you're an ostracised dork at school, who gets it together as a grown up.

(ok, one or two people get to be cool at school and later on, they are special - I am not one of them)

My God Russ, you fucked Jason Donovan! Ew.

I've always been cool.

Anon. at 3.39 am, meet M!key. You two should hit it off just fine.
Providing he is, you know, well endowed.

WTF!!?

At least I'm getting more traffic from this link, but... I dunno if I want it.

Laugh it up cockaxe.

I want to be a man.

I once had a huge crush on a Nazi thug.
This guy HATED me and my lefty ways.
He spat on me and he tried to run over me in his car.

One night when I was pissed I went over to his house, took off my clothes and told him to fuck me.
He couldn't get it up and I laughed in his fascist face.

He went psycho and threw me out of his house.

I went back the next weekend for a repeat performance.
He lives around the corner from me and when we see each other in public, we pretend we have never met.
I will probably try and fuck his limp dick again.

M!key said "cockaxe"!

How does he know?!?!

That was brilliant. Even got a bit turned on here and there. I have so much to confess I wouldn't know where to start.

I wish I had never been born. I get really depressed and think about killing myself but I can't stand pain so I think that is off the table.

I fantastise about being strangled and beaten during sex but am too scared to tell my partner or friends.

the ultimate confession site:

http://grouphug.us/

I have had 7 sexual partners over 3 years and have faked every single orgasm. I'm scared I'll never have one.

I have a serious eating problem and Body Dysmorphic Disorder. I binge for weeks then crash diet. I think it's slowly killing me but I won't stop until I look like Kate Moss.

I fed a bit of a donut to Bob Ellis at a party recently and Ms Fits got mad at me.

I have no real friends. Besides my husband and my parents, I have no one. All of my friends have either moved away, are traveling or are total losers who only want to see me when they need something.

I think i'd do just about anything to have a close girlfriend who I could actually count on.

where do you live anonymous? i'll be your friend.

Me too.

I am in a relationship, but have slept with dozens of women and my partner doesn't know. He thinks I'm gay.

We have cracked the 100 mark. I confess that so many secrets makes me feel better.

Thanks for the offer melbournegirl and sublime.
I live in Tasmania. Which I think may be part of the problem.
I'm a bright, outgoing and friendly person and I think people just assume I have alot of friends when the truth of the matter is, most nights I go to bed at like 7pm and watch The Simpsons.

Excellent idea for a post Ms Fits, it feels good to have it out in the open.
*stands up on her desk and screams* I am friendless, and I think i'm actually going to be okay with it.

*gets back down* I'll shut up now. :)

I feel the same way as the anonymous above me. Always told that I am what I am not; leading a wild social life, successful with the opposite sex, and always confident and so on - In actual fact, I have few friends, and spend so many evenings by myself, not knowing how to reach out to people properly... I know that there aren't really many people who HAVE got it down, but it makes it almost harder that i appear to be one thing and am another. Always seeming comfortable, but always lonely.
And thankyou also for the chance to gripe...

Hi Anonymous, this is the Anonymous that was above you (this could get tricky)

I know EXACTLY how you feel. At often times I find myself avoiding the Friday question of 'Plans for the weekend?' when I really feel like screaming 'NOTHING! I have nothing on, the highlight will proberbly be going out for lunch with my partner or going supermarket shopping' but instead I go with the 'yeah..I have a bit on this weekend, actually'

Avoiding the truth is so much easier, well easier than admitting you're a bit of a social retard.

Hi Anonymous @3:35pm (but not the one directly above). If your eating discorder kills you, then I think you will have fulfilled your goal. You will undoubtedly look like Kate Moss.

P.S. Please don't do it; Kate Moss is vile.

P.P.S. Do I have to say I hate the word verification thing, or is that optional? (By the way, it's "xnizu". I think your blog sneezed)

I'm really happy with my life except for an all consuming hate for one of my siblings. Each day one of my aims is to be a little better then her and her husband. All my friends believe my life is perfect and that I am "strong". They are wrong.

this is the comments that will never end... until somebody says that it will never end... then it will end. Oh, whoops-

I have no friends either. I see a few people every once in a while but apart from that - noone. I don't know how it happened, I just gradually lost contact with the people I hung around with and now they're not interested in knowing me.

I don't know how to make new ones either.

i have also lost the ability to keep friends and am being eaten alive by loneliness. I am down to one friend in the same city , have no partner, can't stand my parents and siblings, and am envious of anyone with a family. It's not easy going out by yourself - and where? it used to be so easy in my 20s - go out, get drunk and take pills and meet people and pick up, but now??? I mourn the friendships that I had, that fizzled out for no apparent reason.

I met a girl over in the US and we'd been travelling back and forth in a really difficult long distance relationship. About 4 months ago i found out that she had a fuck buddy, had only been on for bout 3 weeks. At the time we hadn't been in the same postcode for 4 months and after 18 months of relationship we still hadn't figured out how we were going to make it work. I confronted her, over the phone, and she ended it and we sorted our shit out. It just about killed me, I love this girl more than anything and I worked harder than ever before to make it work. She confessed about a month later that she had got pregnant and got an abortion. She came out recently and I asked her to marry me and she is moving out here permanently in the new year. I'm really happy, and our relationship is better than ever. So what's the secret? She's the only person I've ever spoken to about it and I promised that I wouldn't bring it up with her again unles she wanted to talk about it, that's what forgiveness requires after all. It's definitely been difficult, but nothin easy is worth doing. Don't get me wrong I'm not bitter about it, if anything the whole experience was the kick in the pants I needed to realise what I had.

Thanks

I took fruit into the fruit exclusion zone in the Riverina region of NSW.

I also took showers in the days immediately following the Canberra bushfires, even though there was barely enough water to go around for people to drink. I just didn't want to be stinky.

I'm a lesbian but I really like reading gay male erotica. I don't understand it, I try and read the lesbian stuff, but just find myself going "ew".
I think I might also be a bit of a transexual gay man sometimes. Hrm.

Hey, Anonymous Taswegian up there. SO HEAR YOU. Tasmania is the worst place ever for finding new friends.

My non-nonymous confession is this: I've become so paranoid about the mens that I'm becoming frankly kind of freaky. Today I got a call from Flatmate #2 proclaiming that his email was buggered. I got home and behold, there's creepass blackhat shit on my computer.

What's my first thought?

It's not 'oh no, Flatmate #2 has fallen victim to bizarro weirdness on my computer and it's ALL MY FAULT.'

It's more like, 'Fuck, what if he's been snoopifying through my shit and has just told me this to cover his LYING POWER NERD ARSE.'

I know in my head that he has about a snowball's chance in hell of having anything to do with it, but, like, GOD. How the hell do I get this kind of convoluted bullshit in my brain?

sex toys shop - buy your Sex toy and use Adult Friend Finder to get yourself a sex partner to play together on Adult Video Chat and don't forget to Buy Viagra or Cialis - cause there's no point doing it without it - you can buy Viagra Online right here.