Reasons you will hate me

Sex.

Even though I do a radio show where guests come on and play their top 5 rooting songs, I've never actually considered my own. Sometimes music can really set a mood, and sometimes it can totally fuck it up. I would never include D'Angelo in my top 5 rooting songs because he is as cheesy as fuck, but just you try not getting sex if you put his Voodoo record on. Oh. My. God. Even if you barely ever listen to R'n'B, all of a sudden you start writhing around like you're a steamy bitch in a Spike Lee movie. You even grow a more stacked butt. It is hotness. I am listening to it right now and I totally have a wide-on.


I will post another time about rooting songs some of our past guests have played. This time it is all about me. Do you love my Sunday narcissism?


Here are my top 5 as of today. They will change as I am erratic and no one man can pin me down.


5. John Spencer Blues Explosion - Sticky.
The best bit about choosing this song as one of your top 5 is that you get to imagine that you could possibly fuck one of the band members. I can never decide which one I like best, though you just know that Jon is sticking it to his hot wife like a real man with tangy sweat. 'Sticky' is kind of a fucked-up and messy song. And to that I say, grrrr. And, in addition, meow.


4. MC5 - Let Me Try.
This is a less ball-banging MC5 track, but that's what makes it so fucking jazzy. Rob Tyner makes me want to have sex with someone and cry the whole way through because it's just too much .


3. Masters Apprentices - Undecided.
Jim Keays is Australia's own Keith Richards and I know this because I took my mum to see Cotton, Keays and Morris at Box Hill golf club and he was wearing leather pants. Most Masters Apprentices songs make me want to get naked (with the possible exception of Elevator Driver), but this one particularly gets my hips moving wetly.


2. James Brown - Please, Please, Please.
There's nothing hotter than someone on their knees begging. Especially when they're begging like this. Oh my fucking god. Does James want me so bad right now? Yes he does. And once he's wiped that rock of crack cocaine from his nose, we can get down to business.


1. The Stooges - Dirt .
Just listen to that bass line and tell me you don't want to make the dirty fuck. Now.

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