SEX PARTY!
On the weekend, my friend Dave took me to a party. He said it was going to be a hot spa party thrown by his nymphomaniac Scottish girlfriend. How could I not go?
Little did I know that Dave was luring me to a SEX PARTY. Which I am both horrified by and turned on by at the same time. Here are the things that made me start to twig.
1. It was at a town-house in Kensington.
Warning, warning. Where do you think all those rude swingers parties take place? In the suburbs. Those people are dirty, dirty people and they hide their sexual predilections behind their polished floorboards and two-car garages. SEX PARTY!
2. The hire spa had the words 'HUBBA HUBBA' painted on the side.
And it was in a candle-lit garage. Yes. A garage. SEX PARTY!
3. All the men were bald body-building types.
They were oily musclemen wearing too-tight t-shirts. And they were dancing to really really bad techno. With each other. In a gay way. SEX PARTY!
4. You could cut the anticipation with a knife.
Matty B and I were waiting for the mysterious 'secret signal' that gets given at these kinds of swingers parties. Everyone had darty eyes, waiting for something to happen, or for someone to give the nod so the HOT GROUP SEX could begin. You should have seen the druggy bodybuilders stroking their pecs and leering at me and Lucy. They were so ready for action. You would have loved it. SEX PARTY!
5. Dave's nymphomaniac Scottish girlfriend hooked up with someone else.
But did that stop Dave? No way. He lay down on the floor and played blatant footsies with her, in front of her new boy. And you know why Dave did that with such gay and sexual abandon? Because it was a SEX PARTY!
6. One man owned the spa.
And that man was a tiny balding fellow with a 1970's padeophile ponytail and an offensively hairy chest. When we arrived he was all spread out in it Hefner-style, waiting for 'the ladies' to get naked and get in. When that didn't eventuate, he slid out, changed his underpants underneath his towel like he was a ten year-old at the beach, and went to hold court in the kitchen. 'That's the problem with this country,' we heard him telling people, irritated that the porno sluts had failed to eventuate during his time in the water. 'Too many people reading Dolly magazine; worried about their fat arse or the size of their dicks. Me, I don't give a shit. I'm just getting in there, getting hot. You just gotta get in there, man.' Cue: more leering and suggestive towelling-off. SEX PARTY!
7. Just before I left, there were three naked bodybuilders techno dancing in the spa .
So I got in and fucked them. SEX PARTY!
19 days til the election.
55 days til Gabi comes home.
Comments
I am only new with the blog writing but i hope my personality will make me attractive to you once i write some things. I also live in Kensington. Maybe you would drop by my house sometime? You and your firends sound like inerting people.
On saturday night I went to a 14 year old private school girl's party. It was fun, we watched 'Mean Girls'.
damn. i meant to say INTERESTING not INERTING.
Now you'll think I am weird.
I ALWAYS GET THAT!
shit.
oh. i have bought a penthouse apartment.
the front room has a beautiful view.
i'd like to share it with you and your sex party friends.
Have you heard that Spod song "Seckz Party 4 Eva"?
They should have been playing that on repeat, it may have got everyone in the mood more than bad techno.
It's teletubbie voice.
The thing about these events is all the sperm in the water. Fortunately if they are body builders there probably wasn't much of it.
If I went to one of those I could take revenge for lingering viral ailments of a sexual nature which I got from the film industry a long time ago.
Yes, Mr. Rum. And things were going so well for us before you misspelled the word 'interesting'.
is it not a sin to fuck on abattoir land, much like it's a sin to fuck on an indian gravesite.
ps: think i saw ya at the evelyn on friday, was gonna buy you a drink, have the barman pass it to you and then point suggestedly at me, but thought it was lame, much akin to you meeting la nadine in sydney.
Hey there,
Steeeve here, from woodenspoon.net. I liked the previous comments so put up a post about them in my blog.
gold gold gold
party at archies apartment.. yay
A little gin rummy and watching people root...HEAVEN
sex toys shop - buy your Sex toy and use Adult Friend Finder to get yourself a sex partner to play together on Adult Video Chat and don't forget to Buy Viagra or Cialis - cause there's no point doing it without it - you can buy Viagra Online right here.
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