Reasons you will hate me

I have always been consistently amazed by the sheer lack of sexiness at sexpo. Except for the girls advertising lingerie restaurants: that never gets old!

That treadmill thing is really the sort of thing you need to put out of a toddlers reach. Looks very much like a kids toy, but with a large mechanical penis attached. I find it's best to remove all the mechanical penii from kids toys just to be sure.

Oh Ms Fits, I regret to say that I recently read all about the machine in question:
First Wired had this:
http://www.wired.com/news/culture/0,1284,69576,00.html
"Jon Traven does not look like a sex-machine inventor. He looks like a cowboy.
But the divorced Christian homesteader from Idaho is one of many makers of garage-built erotic devices featured in Sex Machines: Photographs and Interviews, a book by Timothy Archibald that documents the secretive subculture of hobbyists whose creations bear names like The Thumpstir and The Gangbang."

"divorced Christian Homesteader"
*mind boggle*

Ok they then had a link to this:
http://thesexmachinebook.blogspot.com/
Sex Machines: Photographs and Interviews by Timothy Archibald explores a vibrant American subculture where sexual adventure, technological ingenuity, and heartfelt personal visions intersect. Through his documentary images and original interviews, San Francisco photographer Timothy Archibald unearths the world of contemporary sex machine enthusiasts. Provocative and full of surprises, this exhibition features twenty-one of Archibald’s photographs, selections from his interviews, and an array of extraordinary devices.

And Finally [NSFW]
http://fuckingmachines.com/

Which you can see when you are not at work. As I am.

i used to very much be able to look at all this stuff at work - i worked doing finished 'art' for the southern hemisphere's biggest distributor and licensee of adult products.

i reckon the 'womanzone' thing (and i have no 'inside'er' [yuk yuk] knowledge of these products ...) must be a merkins and pasties purveyor ... i can vaguely make out a tube that doesn't look substantial enough to be lube, so perhaps an adhesive?

toally guesswork.

what you really want is to be an industry insider at these things; apparently the brass at my old job were *in the room* while keilani's vadge was being moulded to make the very replicas you could take home and root, for which i photoshopped and indesigned the packaging.

us proles never get to see the good shit.

let me know re: the hand shandy.

r

;( you seem sad recently ms.fits. hope you're ok! anyway your blog still fucking rocks. AH! a penis?!!
WTF

Not entirely sure what our friend with the safety jacket is packing - although I'm a little concerned it seems to be protruding from his belly button. From that I would guess he's either Mr Fantastic - of Fantastic Four fame - moonlighting as a L-plated erotic dancer, an actor from the porn version of Aliens, or a man who's immediately found a use for the contents of his $6 bag of dicks.

Only barely on topic to the sexpo pics, the only thing I can relate it to is this wonderful clip I heard on Ragan Fox's recent podcast (Fox and the City) where I heard a wonderful passage from JK Rowling's "Harry Potter and the Black Leather Cunt": http://libsyn.com/media/foxinthecity/116fatc.mp3 --its about 12 mintues into the podcast.

Wow, this is like guessing how many lollies in the jar. I was always a sucker for those at school fetes.

I'll guess that they sell a pair of moulded man hands that slip into your bra made from warm silicone, of course.

Brochure:
Man Hands are accurately modelled on a pair of real, large, warm, but delightfully rough, hands from a male supermodel or celebrity** of your choice. They give confidence and warmth, whilst "promoting" your decolletage and Man Hands natural resilience give you the extra pleasure of a gentle squeeze whenever you walk. With their smooth* moulded outer shell and a range of shades and colours - no-one will ever know the secret of your smile. Man Hands are available from quality outlets around the world.

Man Hands - "Get a grip on life"

*Also available with large nipple moulds.
**Please check footpath outside Grauman's Chinese Theatre for available models of Celebrity Man Hands

*is scared*

That is a low grade dick saddle that you're displaying there. A friend of mine has given up his medical degree to sell those things. Bizarre!

Innuendo is innuendo for "In your end o"

Bob Ellis, COME ON DOWN...and defend your No. 1 fan.

i am surprised they allow photography in there. but i couldnt work out the guy in the vest, camera was to dark

Should it concern me that my fella recently returned from trip to the land of the free and brought me home a copy of the abovementioned sex machines book as a present?

Mind you, amongst other things he also brought me a squidgy electronic snow globe containing two humping dolphins and a very fine collection of beer openers, so it's not like it was all weird.

xoxox nora

You wouldn't want to sit too low on that thing. You'd be in for some severe pinching judging from the gap between "the business" and the edge of the hole he's coming up (and down) out of.

I was walking home from work past Jeffs shed during Sexpo week when I spotted visiting porn star Sylvia Saint walking towards me. I always thought she was kinda hot (from the few scraps of internet porn I managed to download at work!), but in person she looked like a cheap ho that spent too much time under the sunlamp. I had planned on saying hi to her, but her bodyguard was fucking huge and scary, so I didn't.
And that last pic is a European Bidet!

That treadmill would be highly marketable in the gay community. It combines our mandatory gym regime with our need to be pumped hard with huge penises.

If it comes in fluro pink sales will go through the roof!

Is it really a treadmill type device??

Womanzone is a "feminine arousal gel". I have no fucking clue what nipple huggers are, however. I may be a seasoned Sexpo stall girl, but the mind still boggles on that one.

Hey Fits, no idea if this is near you but these guys are amazingly funny and good:

Kiki & Herb have confirmed a residence at the The Studio @ Sydney Opera House, Australia as part of the annual Mardi Gras festival:

Kiki & Herb
14 - 26 February
Presenter: The Studio
Venue: The Studio

Fresh from sold out shows at Carnegie Hall, across the US and in London New York's cabaret terrorists return to Sydney:
'Deranged. Hysterical. Confrontational. Unmissable.' - Time Out, London.

Kiki is a washed up, boozed up chanteuse whose middle age passed her by some time ago. Herb, her piano battering, life-long accompanist, provides support both musically and emotionally. Show business has destroyed them but they cannot live without it. Featuring songs made famous by the likes of Eminem, Radiohead, Kate Bush and Britney Spears.

‘How can one best describe the genius of Kiki & Herb? It’s cabaret with the gut wrenching impact of the best punk rock, the smarts of the snobbiest underground music and the sick attraction of vintage torch lounge. It’s the most hilariously disturbing show you’ll see this season – grand, vivacious and sordid’ – New York Times.

'catch them before they die’ – Time Out New York.


SEASON
Tuesday 14 - Saturday 18 February at 8.15pm
Wednesday 22 February at 8.15pm
Thursday 23 February at 6.30pm
Friday 24 - Saturday 25 February at 8.15pm
Sunday 26 February at 7pm

PRICES
PREVIEW 14 February.
Adult $27. *Concession $22

SEASON from 15 February.
Adult $30. *Concession $25

*Concessions apply to Australian Pensioners/Australian Seniors/Fulltime Students/Childern Under 15.

Ah, G'day,

Nipple huggers are non-piercing nipple jewelry presumably designed to make nipples look attractive [????], keep them in an 'erect' state and sensitise them for, presumably, later use.

There's a vaguely similar sort of thing in cock rings