Spewin'.
According to today's Herald Scum:
'THE State Government's official schoolies website encourages school leavers to fake vomiting to avoid unwanted advances at end-of-school festivities.
The schoolies week '05 website went online on Monday, and offers Victorian students some unusual tips for a successful schoolies week.
In dealing with "toolies" -- older men heading to popular schoolies destinations to cause trouble and prey on younger girls -- the website suggests faking vomiting.
"In a situation where someone isn't listening to you and you feel unsafe, you could pretend you are going to vomit," the website says.
"It's amazing how quickly people move away if they think you are going to be sick."'
They failed to mention the added advantage of:
- Peering down your own underpants and squealing excitedly: 'Oooh, I'm bleeding! What should I do now?'
- Whining that you need to be carried from bar to bar because your tootsies are soresies
- Asking to be escorted to the toilet for help with 'wiping'
- Cocking your head to one side and saying thoughtfully: 'Do you think ice has carbs?'
- Glancing around and wondering aloud why there are so many gooks in Surfers Paradise
- Announcing cutely that your dad's a way better kisser. Plus he has a bigger dick.
Have I missed any?
721 days til the next election.
Comments
Buying them a pint of fine GHB is always a nice gesture.
If the barman looks at you quizzically, then don't worry. You're probably in Queensland, so just ask for a schooner instead.
-announce that you have a chunk of wet sand in your underpants
-tell 'toolie' that he looks alot like that old guy, whats his name, the one thats going out with katie holmes
"Oh, sex would be great ... maybe that will stop the itching."
"Um, I don't think I've got time, the babysitter charges me a fifty to keep looking after the little rug-rat if I'm not back before rove finishes"
"It won't give the foetus a headache will it?
"Only if I can start calling you Winston, and you start referring to it as 'reform'"
-Hang on, I'll just check if it's OK with my Dad. He's the bouncer here.
-Ooh, I didn't think I'd find anyone up here who was into boys dressing up like girls. I'm glad I stuffed extra tissues into my bra!
Glancing around and wondering aloud why there are so many gooks in Surfers Paradise
I think that would encourage your average toolie bogan...
thomasr
How is spewing a turn off?
If anyone would care to peruse my hard drive full of MAX HARDCORE porn and various rotten.com temporary internet files, they would know that its just going to send me and my fellow toolies into a mad scat/vomiting sexual flurry which can't be stopped.
Hmmm....Perhaps i should've chosen something a little more appropriate for my first comment
hi Hc!!!!!!!!
Four and Five are also pretty standard responses given by 30-something women in Frostbites on Chapel.
Allegedly.
Well, actually vomiting moves people away real quick.
Vomiting is normally a sign to go in for the kill.
my tummy hurts
In a normal environment cooing about George Bush's dick would cause the masses to run, but unfortunately here in Georgia its a turn on for "toolies". Get me out of here.
Don't forget the effectiveness of "Sure, I'd love to come back to your place. You can get me on Australian Idol/Big Brother, right ?"
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