Reasons you will hate me

Sure signs you're 'getting on'

- There is now a definite age group of people it’s morally wrong for you to come on to.



- You’re not the cute, outrageous one in the office who everyone wants to fuck anymore. You’re a little bit sad, if truth be known.



- You finally discover the secret that your mother didn’t tell you: your tits don’t droop down. They droop sideways .



- When young boys get nervous around you, it’s not because you’re hot. It’s because you’re a grown-up and you’re asking them questions. Can they go now, please?



- Those ‘children of the 80’s' lists have been replaced by ‘children of the 90’s' lists. And some of the references go over your head.



- You can actually be friends with someone who was born after Expo ’88.



- Listening to ironic early 90’s pop tunes is not cutting edge. It’s gay. (see: 4-Non Blondes 'What's Up', Red Hot Chili Peppers 'Under the Bridge', Spin Doctors 'Two Princes' etc)



-Certain people you've met cannot remember a time when the Simpsons was not on television.



-It's starting to look stupid when you wear your hair in pigtails.



-You buy things from op shops you actually need, instead of infant-sized duffle coats, 60's kitchen wares and paintings of children with big, sad eyes .

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