Territory quizlings.
A quiz for you, so it feels like we've been together this whole time I've been away.
Apologies for my absence. I am slowly returning to earth.
Answers tomorrow.
1. I went to the Northern Territory and all I got was this:
a) Barra burger
b) Weird singlet tan
c) Sense of enlightenment and wellbeing
d) Dose of cat AIDS
2. What lived in the shower block at Kalkaringi and terrorised the children?
a) A red-bellied black snake, occasionally darting in through the drainpipe
b) Two green tree frogs, peering up from the toilet bowl
c) One freshwater croc, living in the sewerage system and no doubt preparing to grow to an enormous size in order to terrorise random communities like in that film Alligator
d) A meerkat named Ian
3. The most popular booty shaking song amongst local under-5's at Friday night's remote community disco, courtesy of DJ Deadly Gilly was:
a) Crazy Frog - Who Let The Frogs Out
b) Queens Of The Stoneage - Feelgood Hit Of The Summer
c) Sir Mix-a-lot - Baby Got Back
d) Fleetwood Mac - Go Your Own Way
4. One thing I didn't do while away in the Territory was:
a) Lie awake listening to my parents copulate in our campervan
b) Masturbate
c) Lie awake masturbating while my parents copulated in our campervan
d) Grow an inch taller
5. The woman working at the Pine Creek post office wore a t-shirt that read:
a) (picture of Australian Flag) If You Don't Love It, Leave!
b) Fat Chicks - Shoot Em Don't Root Em!
c) Homosexuals Are Gay!
d) Jesus Loves You (Everyone Else Reckons You're A Cunt)
6. At Gurindji Freedom Day I was starstruck by:
a) Ted Egan
b) Gabi Hollows
c) Mary G
d) Matthew Followill from Kings of Leon
e) Dr. Philip Nitschke
f) All of the above
7. When I get home to Melbourne I am going to:
a) Hug my dog so hard she pops a lung
b) Spoon Gabi
c) Masturbate
d) Look up at the stars and wish I was in Kalkaringi feeling butterwarm in my belly and overwhelmed by the snowdome constellations
e) All of the above
8. Tonight on my last night away I am going to share a bed with:
a) My ex husband
b) My father (sans pants)
c) My mother (sans manners)
d) All of the above.
See you back in the cold.
446 days til the next election
Comments
Is this a rhetorical quiz?
I always wanted to make a t-shirt that said 'I slept with Sarah and all I got was gonorrhea (I had to make the t-shirt myself)'
so glad you didn't get eaten by a croc.
I love a DJ name with a 'Deadly' in it.
It's so gammin.
1. No, this is not a rhetorical quiz.
2. I am also glad I remain uneaten by a croc.
3. THAT T-SHIRT IDEA IS GENIUS.
4. Who is 'Sarah'?
Q4 is quite disturbing.
that's a lot of masturbating.
do you need a(nother) hand?
*winks coquettishly*
OF COURSE I'M NOT THAT SLEAZY. often.
i'll get me coat...
Yes it is.
Particularly given that I wouldn't believe (D) for a second.
1 - c
2 - b
3 - c
4 - too disturbing to contemplate, but I'm glad to hear you've grown an inch (*squeezes eyes shut* oh god, please).
5 - a
6 - b and/or c.
7 - e
8 - d
1. b
2. a
3. d.
4. d
5. b
6. e
7. e
8. c.
And it's not that cold at the moment, honestly.
Oh yeah, and tag, you're it!
Hey gertie,
Welcome back - we missed ya!
Is 4 where your Mum says 'Can you keep it down, dear? We're trying to have a quiet fuck.'
My cat has cat AIDS, I think.
He has a history of homosexual behavior and his wounds don't heal.
Hey Fits, have you seen this?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ARejSdIa5as
Its very funny, methinks.
all of the above.
I'm glad the t-shirt was enjoyed.
Sarah is my bestest friend in the world - you know those one's who there's never any sexual tension with and you can get changed in front of each other and sleep in the same bed but then that one time you got really drunk and high and ended up having sex. Then in the morning it's actually still cool and you start giggling and pointing at each other when you wake up and she says 'Ha ha I saw your penis' and you say 'Ha ha you put it in your mouth, you are so gross'. And everybody knows and thinks that either you are both secretly in love or in complete denial and actually all weirded out when you're not so you make a really crass t-shirt just to amuse yourself and freak them out. And she doesn't really have gonorrhea, she's actually quite well kept downstairs not to mention lovely upstairs.
1.b
2.b
3.c
4.c
5.c
6.f
7.e
8.c (I hope)
Well 4b obviously isn't the right answer. the rest I'm struggling with.
Wow, you grew an inch taller?
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