The doctor is in.
Former Victorian
*wets*
...but he is also a fully qualified doctor of brains* who was thankfully able to cunningly diagnose Mark Latham's chronic mental illness. IS THERE NO END TO THIS MAN'S GIFTS.
Symptoms!:
1. Failure to conform to social norms with respect to lawful behaviors as indicated by repeatedly performing acts that are grounds for arrest
2. Deceitfulness, as indicated by repeated lying, use of aliases, or conning others for personal profit or pleasure
3. Impulsivity or failure to plan ahead
4. Reckless disregard for safety of self or others
5. Consistent irresponsibility, as indicated by repeated failure to sustain consistent work behavior or honor financial obligations
6. Lack of remorse, as indicated by being indifferent to or rationalizing having hurt, mistreated, or stolen from another
THE DOCTOR SAYS:
'J-Hole, this be an easy one! You is suffering from Antisocial Personality Disorder. Dr.K prescribes a long stay in hospital with some electro-shock party time. Keep your shit away from peeps as long as you can, arright? You will kick it after a little 'T.O', I swears it!'
Symptoms!:
- Significant problem with memory or learning
- Significant problem with grooming and hygiene
- Significant confusion as to date, place, or person
- Memory impairment (impaired ability to learn new information or to recall previously learned information).
THE DOCTOR SAYS:
'Bitch, you is having some Dementia Associated With Alcoholism. That shit is wild! Be staying off the liquor and you be remembering all kinds of realness!
Baby, you can get down out of those stirrups now; you is all finished. Want a wowwipop?'
Symptoms!:
A. Delusion develops in an individual in the context of a close relationship with another person(s), who has an already-established delusion.
B. The delusion is similar in content to that of the person who already has the established delusion.
C.The disturbance is not better accounted for by another Psychotic Disorder (e.g., Schizophrenia) or a Mood Disorder With Psychotic Features and is not due to the direct physiological effects of a substance (e.g., a drug of abuse, a medication) or a general medical condition.
THE DOCTOR SAYS:
'Woah mama, you got yourself a bad case of the Induced Psychotic Disorder's. Stay away from that man, sistuh! You know what Dr.K is sayin'? STAY AWAY FROM THAT MAN. YOU AIN'T BEING HIS BITCH, BITCH. P.s. Grow the fuck up, Charlie Brown!'
Symptoms!
Euphoric, energetic, talkative, and alert to the sensations of sight, sound, and touch. No need for food and sleep. May have difficulty performing simple physical and intellectual tasks.
THE DOCTOR SAYS:
'Bitch, drugs is nasty okay? Stay away from that devil's powder. That shit will kill you. Shit.'
*Medical diagnosis not to be taken internally. If swallowed, please seek immediate advice.
831 days til the next election.
Comments
First of the day. mY LORD!!!!!
P.s - I love you.
What's not funny is that today is the day those "Liberal" fascist fucks gain control of the senate. As much as I wish that ridiculing them would make things better, unfortunately it doesn't.
Why did people vote for them? Maybe Bill Murray's Character Phil in Groundhog day was right:
"People like blood-sausage too. People are morons."
I want to know what the good doctor has to say about Ms Hanson.
e-up. there's nowt wrong wi' blood sausauge.
Tom Cruise would argue that the Doctor of Brain Science is full of shit. HE KNOWS ABOUT THE HISTORY OF PSYCHIATRY. The rest of the world doesn't. OKAY!
LOL
Hi. I'm a big fan.
You'd think that having the same eyebrows as Hitler would be a tip off to Howards mentality.
Fear for America for we just lost a Left-leaning supreme court judge. Get that little Anne Frankish hiding spot ready for us when we come seeking asylum. Look for Roe vs. Wade to get overturned and homosexuals to be burned at the stake.
bush hasn't overturned roe v. wade yet?
boy, he's getting sloppy isn't he?
and you're welcome to take shelter in my attic anytime, kranki. penny and the canines too.
You've just made me like Jeff Kennett in some sort of context, even if it is a fictional one. My grip on reality is loosening.
Last year Dr K sent a tasteful email to my workplace the very day the company found out a colleague had committed suicide. The first half of the said grammtical error-filled thesis expressed his condolences, then quickly followed with finger-pointing, the likes of which only Dr K could deliver. Apparently WE were all to blame for not noticing how depressed this extremely reserved man was. Fair call. I reckon I should compile a list of all the potentially depressed, cynical journalist I know and start making house calls to Dr K in the middle of the night on their behalf. I mean, there can't be too many of them, can there?
Oh - and is that George Bush's frontal lobe growing out of the side of his head?
You are too funny. TOO funny. x
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