The movie business.
Things that happened in or around the film I made drunkenly on Friday night with Gen and Gabi .- We mimed the opening credits music to Charles in Charge and totally fucked up the bit where it goes 'I want...I want Charles in Charge...of me!'
- We parodied a cooking show that turned pornographic. I will spare you the details of what happened with the wooden spoon and grater.
- We included topless photos.
- We raped the special effects feature on imovie, inappropriately over-using the following: 'fog', 'fairy dust', 'sepia tone', 'rain', 'aged film', 'flash' and the intriguingly named 'N-square'.
- We wore tight jumpsuits and pink wigs.
- We mimed pensive sad faces in case of a 'mood change' mid-movie.
- We bent over double in anticipation of the unbridled hilarity that would await us when the footage was edited together.
- We ate pie.
- We spent about twelve fucking hours crash-learning imovie and staring dumbly at the computer.
- We added the theme music from Family Ties to give the film what Gen called 'poignancy'.
- We sat back and reaped the fruits of our wine-soaked labours.
- We were inevitably disappointed.
927 days til the next election.
p.s. Beloved Fluffy and her frypan have had a brush with fame.
p.p.s. I am retreating further up bush for the next couple of days to eat pistachios and pick grapes, so do please try to fill your time constructively until I return.
p.p.p.s. I HAVE A LIST ON MC-FUCKING-SWEENEYS!
*opens champagne*
*toasts high-falutin' literary peers*
*attends openings*
Comments
I am glad you liked your meal at botanical, I have a friend who works there. When are you going to come and eat at my restuarant? (Harvey's - murphy st sth yarra)
... Charles in Charge
... parodied a cooking show
did you crazy kids make a doco about my boyfriend?
I made Charles an awesome mixed tape with the Charles in Charge music on it. It finished with a "rocking out" version by a Blink182alike band. When he plays it in the kitchen the new staff think he's insane. The old staff know its true.
I so want McSweeneys to have a comments page.
Dude, like totally, which list is it?
Jesus Christ. Frustration with Channel Geven has driven you to this?
Saw one of the stars of your (feeling ever more mythical) show on a razor blade ad last night, strutting through an office in time to a blinding rip-off of "Blister in the Sun". I felt...taunted.
mc-fuckin'-sweeneys?? holy crapola. that's it settled, i wanna be you when i grow up.
Ahhh, I sent them a list but they never published it, probably because it was shit. But I thought it was funny. If anyone's interested check it out:
http://www.djkl.com/news/comments.php?id=25
I think your list is much better than mine, Fitsy.
cheers, KL
I TOLD you that would make a killer List! Mine got rejected for being too smugly referential. Dang!
Oh, I've been totally rejected by them too. It hasn't been an easy courtship.
Hard-to-get bitches.
But SMUG?! SMUG?!! Moi!?!
You mean they actually took the trouble to write back and tell you that you were too smug? I didn't hear anything, which must be an even worse diss in the McSweenys world.
KL
Well, I was reading between the lines a little with the smug. But it was one of the nicer "no thanks" I've ever got.
Some time reader, first time commenter...
Fits, you made it too easy:
* The link to McSweeney's
* An educated guess about 'the' list.
* A quick confirmatory Google
Now I've gotta go find some other bloggette to make me snort Sprite out my nose while thinking "I wonder who this funny fucking bitch is?".
You're going to go find some other bloggette? Was it something I said?
Nah, I'll stick around.
Even if the mystique of anonymity has been blown, you're still one very funny bitch; and I can't get me enough Abbott slagging fun on my own.
Cheers!
Comments are closed.