Reasons you will hate me

Ply it between his fingers? Just prior to making a lamp shade out of it presumably.

It's stalkers like that that really put me to shame.

The word, 'Eeeek!' springs to mind, closing followed by the words 'restraining' and 'order'...

Oh he sounds like he escaped off a Home and Away set. He's a bit like that Dom guy who Drew ran over and who has now returned from the dead and is skulking around Belle's bedroom as we speak...

Rather than:

* pen the letter
* post it somewhere random on the net
*hope that you google yourself every now an again, and
* hope you happen to click on the link

why didn't he just leave it as a comment on your blog?

At least he didn't write "Mummy!" on it. "Milk, Milk, Lemonade" was pretty good though.

"Dexterious"!!

I will comment properly when I stop laughing.

Gimme a couple of weeks.

x

P.s. I love what you've done with your hair, hon.

you mean....thats not you?

It’s easy to see Jake has a way with women, a Buffalo Bill way.
Why is only one of your nipples erect Lady fits? Where is the other one?.Is this why they call you Lefty?

Was your trip to south beach Florida pleasant at least?

It's not so much a love that dare not speak it's name as a love that got really, really drunk and called you, like, 19 times in a row at 3am cause you didn't pick up the first time and it assumed you were with someone else you hussy 'cause why else wouldn't you pick up – you heartless cow– when the love loves you so much?!

I say go for it!

Dear Ms Fits.

1. Elton John is a fat prick and an asshole.

2. You have fucked men in return for their expending far less effort than this worthy suitor, do not deny it.

3. Deny neither that you'd trade your waifish pizza dough physique for that body in a heartbeat if it were possible.

4. Ginger is a deleterious recessive mutation. Yes girlfriend, I went there, someone had to for fuck sake. So stop fucking a mutant and give this guy the hookup he has so deftly requested...

5. What am I, a fucking counsellor to the retarded..?

6. K Rudd has already fucked it up. Oh, you meant winning the election. Yeah, he'll probably do that but that's nothing to get excited about he's a limp fucktard.

Namaste as usual.

Speaking of Googling names, try Googling 'Galatea Juran' - the result is intriguing.

This little tidbit was found by a mate who is a member of Second Life...

WOW, you google yourself?

Small world, I also am stalking Ms Fits, but this guy seems a bit more enthusiastic.

How could you NOT feel the same way?

What I most enjoy is that his fiendish plan actually worked, because you did self-google and you did click on his link. What a MASTERMIND.. mwhahahahah

Oooh, you're kinda hunky

What's with the stupid hat?

gosh, the amount of thought that went into that almost made me vomit. surely this should be a lesson on the downside of being a minor celebrity for all those people who are desperate for the attention.

never have I been so pleased not to be well known. *shudder*

Stalking and sexual harassment, no matter what the medium, is still stalking. Isn't this worthy of getting 'teh interweb pigs' involved? Ok, you've spiked his guns somewhat by publishing it, but isn't that also the sort of attention from you that this dickwad is craving?

I must agree with Naomi above - being an anonymous participant in the world works for me too. I don't know how anyone could develop a thick enough epidermus to deal with this kind of assault. It's less funny than John Howard trying to say sorry in an election year, and still less funny than Pete, Steve and Richo having a jocular conversation in the Qantas Club (and that's saying a lot!).

All kudos to you if the 'open letter' (was it REALLY discovered as the result of a google search? shame on you!) doesn't concern you as much as it concerns those of us that purely enjoy reading and interacting occasionally with your blog. Ever since Mikeed invaded this space I've wondered how you can shrug this crap off.

Hugs to you - the (hopefully overwhelming) majority just enjoy your musings and have no wish to plaster your head onto a Barbie doll.

See you round the corner for some fudge I suppose.

Enough blog space for this nuff-nuff. But I discovered that ms fits was in a little place called yamba. I received an sms from another devoted ms fits fan saying something like "my parents are sitting next to ms fits and her ginger". just for the record, that is twice in two weeks that friends of mine have been sitting next to you. do you have a twin , or girls trying to emulate your pigtails.

oh, and do you still read by the table in restaurants.

Uh, dramatic much, Pixelesque?

The "open letter" is not stalking - look it up.

He posted the letter on the net because he didn't know where to find her in person. He doesn't even know what her name is!

The tendancy to label any kind of weirdness "stalking" only serves to diminish the seriousness of actual stalking.

I always wanted a stalker, but now I'm not so sure.

Am I the only one who thought it was amusing and borderline cute? If it was to me, I might even have replied.

Stalking, ptooie. Get a room with Steve Price.

@Urgh!

Yes, you're completely right, particularly the bit about diminishing the seriousness of actual stalking.

I'll go further though. Pixelesque you are a complete fuck nuckle. You and your ilk and your twee "Hugs" and inanities are what fuck up the internet and blogs like this specifically. (Well, they're what make me want to sandpaper my eyeballs anyway) Not those with Photoshop Elements and too much time on their hands.

The Internet is a public medium. Nothing more, nothing less. It is not your private friends club (although you're quite entitled to set one up, I'm sure you'll be flooded with interest!) so quit with the tut tutting for fuck sake. If you wanna put it out there expect to get it stomped on. Ms Fits clearly understands this. Why are you so retarded?

I bet you also rail against art that you don't understand and/or offends your sensibilities. Seriously. If you don't like it then fuck the hell off back to your pathetic meatspace existence. At the very least do us all a favour and resist the urge to click submit. You add nothing.

Gah!

Ms Fits, Marry me..... I think you're hot! BTW: loved those fishnets on the bookclub! nice! :) ....cute and intelligent.... a rarity!

Uh, dramatic much, Butthead. I don't really agree with Pixelesque, but how is your aggressive opinionating any better than her twee and inane opinions? It's anonymous, offensive trolls like you who ruin the internet. Yes, I too am anonymous, but I don't go around verbally abusing people because I don't agree with them. Way to turn 'Urgh's' argument into a 10 gallon tub of haterade.

ahem.

Fits, will you marry me? (just to bring it back onto topic)

I am so tempted to cut and paste that picture on to everyone's favourite retarded argument generation site.

SO TEMPTED.

"... a 10 gallon tub of haterade"

GOLD!! Aaahhahahahaahaha!!!

Dear Ms Fits,

I love you, I really do. I'm sorry I don't have a picture for you to prove it; I'm completely crap at photoshop, there's just know way I can compete but I feel that deep in your heart you know how it really is... I'm really very tired at the moment...

...

Can you please still answer my last Friday Question from last Friday this Friday? I thought it was a pretty reasonable one...and I went to a party last week and told everyone about the question I asked you and now I have no follow up on the subject for the next social event.

Kind Regards xx

*waving hand at the back of the room* surely ms fits can look after herself, as far as which kind of quasi-stalkers she gives publicity to?

I will admit I laughed first, then thought wow if that was my daughter's head stuck on the body etc. etc. To point out the bleeding obvious though, fits is a grown up, can make up her own mind, etc. etc. Real issues people can get hot under the collar about including but not limited to global warming, polar bears, why is marty out of aust idol etc. etc.

That is a lovely picture of your face though is it not? Must be pleased with that?

James Dean, everyone googles themselves dear, only some people think it makes you go blind.


BTW Fitsy, your real knockers are way better.

Hahahahahahahahahhahahahahahaaahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahaaa.

That is some damn funny shit!!!!


At least the picture is kind of tasteful compared to what could have been used.

I wager 4 quatloos that ButtHead is Jim Shembri

butthead and jake are toe crud.

Some tosser has been using Marieke's name to post on the Godlike Productions forum, slagging off the Zionists. Flamin' mongrel!

You don't love us anymore, do you?

*pouts*

*screws up the courage to contemplate a future sans Friday questions...*

Marieke does adore us Louise, alas she is quite enthralled thses days trolling for pixellated cyber-fornication in Second Life's seedier sanctums under the alias Galatea Juran...

She would, wouldn't she. Saucy minx.

I had a really really good question and now I can't remember it

What's that blonde/black hair?
http://www.angelfire.com/nb2/ngirls/r-gs.html

Get your questions up, Marieke - or shut down the blog. It has served its purpose, non? Now you're so busy (your career having peaked about a month ago), you don't need this blog anymore to show the world what a zany little firebrand you are. So get a move on - either update the blog, or shut it down.

You could always go elsewhere for your entertainment, Tam. And I shall continue working at my own pace.


In the interim - much love, etc.

It must be said.

Jean-Luc Godard sucks ass.

Oh Tam, you could also visit me in Second Life, where I can usually be found stalking blokes in the Gorean sim of Tahari Desert...

Tut tut, Tam, no need to be so demanding. Is Ms Fits not only human?

Re the above picture: Spot the primate that isn't stuffed (touch wood)

Ms Fits, I’m a new convert, sorry, haven’t been hiding under a rock – just got back from Mawson Station with ANARE (actually, that’s a lie, just escaped from 22 year sentence at the transit system but Mawson Station would have been better, more intelligent life forms there!).

Loved you today with Kiwi Jon, loved your friend’s “favourite place in Melbourne line”. Same here. Just one curiosity about your stalker though; three of the tats make sense but “Lemonade???????” Que? I think Jake has been heading off to “favourite Melbourne places” that don’t comply with compulsory three monthly heath checks! Honestly Jake, “Favourite Place(s)” should definitely NOT taste like Lemonade,, not even Coke, Fanta or Dr Pepper!!!! …..they’re flavours for minors mate! Kiwi Jon was much closer to the correct description when he said his “Favorite Place” was in the Deli Hall at the Queen Vic Market….I find the Italian “Capricco” brand works best for me in the kitchen, in the 600g jars….that’s if you need an artificial substitute for the real thing Mr Jake…..and Jake, an old mate once said to me many years ago, if you give up Kilpatrick and go natural, you’ll never go back, and he was right on the money….

Much Lurve Ms Fits, I’ll be looking in regularly from now on – love this place, it’s fantastic. And P.S. Avoid the transit system at all costs, Not only is it fucking shithouse, but I’m sure I’ve seen Jake getting on the train at Ruthven. James ;-)

Erm.... right. How odd.

Who on earth is Kiwi Jon?

That is funny shit. I love Jake. I hope he googles himself as I made him something. I detect a deceptive quantity of thought and effort in this master work. Still laughing. I am in London, anyone want a fight?

I'm in london, I'll fight. I live near the Elephant, where are you?

I have it on good authority that Ms Fits is closely affiliated with the Writer's Guild in America, hence her recent silence. You can either join her on the picket line like my good self or you can do something useful like take her a sticky bun with a Thermos of Milo

thank you

I have it on dubious authority that Ms Fits is building a virtual Empire in Second Life, from where she plans to take over the Earth in a similar fashion to the SkyNet computer from the Terminator films…she’ll be back! lol

Around teh corner fudge is made etc...

I think I love Jake too.

Is Second Life some kind of online community for perverted attention-whores? If so, I can understand why this would suck away all of Marieke’s free time.

I heard Jake is actually the heir to the throne of King of the Interweb.

You like cosplay don't you Marieke?

I kind of want to see what the blonde in the real pic looks like. Lost interest in Miss Green guide when she started dating a ranga.

It appears to be destiny that you two have found each other!

Milk, milk, well, yes, but Lemonade?
Poor old Jake is obviously a one-handed twit from Seppoland, for if he were an Aussie MsFits' delightful belly would have been festooned with the words 'Tooheys New' because that beverage certainly tastes like wee.

Oh how I laughed. Pure gold when it was written, even funnier now it has been discovered. nygirlofmydreams.com, eat your heart out.

I give him two weeks, tops

u should go out with Jake. He is a really nice boy. My brother has seen his wee wee, but that was a drunken accident

Ms Fits is a lucky girl.

Jake is no weekdy ferker; he's a big boy.

Although, rest assured, he won't be doing the slapping.

I demand you see Jake in person or you'll be labelled as a 'Disgrace not even reel'

Jake has it all by the way. He like DOS not windows, enjoys cosplay and could beat you in Street Fighter hands down.

Ms. Fits, this boy Jake is really just a big softie..............I think it has something to do with the Plushie outfit he likes to wear

You really should go out with him, Ms Fits. Just once, a supervised outing to a cafe somewhere, with the Today Tonight cameras in tow. He's a really nice guy once you get past his little quirks. It is indeed fate that your paths have crossed on the whole ginormous net. Do not deny your destiny.

Cum eating git behaviour on Jake's part, matey

Ms Fits ain't no Suzi Olsen. What's your decision?

You'll never do better than Jake. I didnt.

Okay, our next bachelor is Jake. He's a high school graduate, oh, equivalency. A high school equivalency program graduate. He's self-employed. He's... I don't know, six foot three, 190 pounds, he likes fruit, and he just got a haircut. Okay uh, why don't we start the bidding. Do I hear, um, five bucks?

Lordy, where have Jakey's fan club been hiding all these years? It's a veritable cheer squad...

Do they wait until word comes from the J-man that his latest oblique attempt to woo a lady-blogger has been discovered, at which point they descend en digitised masse to proclaim his rotund plushy-suit wearing right-on-ness?

Who knows what's going on with the kids these days...

Jeez Louise :(

Dang crazy kids.

Could all do with a good stint in the bloody army, I reckon.

Ms Fits and Wacko Jako are probably fiddling with each others avatars over at the Bigpond Bonkatorium in Second Life - boing boing! LOL

Hiya

As jakes ex girlfriend i can tell you he is a harmless, passionate young man who loves to love. Pixelesque your suck up post is a pathetically transparent attempt to get into marieke's panties.

I know it was a silly photoshop for him to do, not to mention the ott letter, but he honestly wasn't expecting marieke to find it and is shocked she did. He feels embarassed now.......

Hiya

As Jakes ex boyfriend i can tell you he can be quite harmfull especially when he unleashes the full 12 inches.

You should feel proud Ms Fits that you can turn such a rugged and handsome man straight. In this case it seems all the great guys aren't gay

What a weedy ferker this Jake is.

I give him two weeks tops.

You realise everyone is laughing at you, Jake?



Know run along kiddies, recess is over.

P.S. Ms Hardy, me and my bodybuilding mates want to manipulate your mainframe.

I love you. I want to be inside of you. I'm cumming.

Jake how could you?

hope ya get ya leg over jake.

Fire up fitsy, when's your next post??

Disgrace, not even real.

As usual Chief you are as funny as a Jew being gassed by a group of feral bears.

Actually that is pretty funny.....

A bit short of the mark there, Ron. Jake is much funnier than you. Ms Fits, if you don't meet Jake for a Soy Chai Latte, you'll be the one missing out.

Hawkeye - "hope ya get ya leg over jake" - are you hoping Ms Fits gets her leg over Jake, or Jake gets a leg-over? Less ambiguity, please, you should aim to be non-obfuscatory in your blog comments.

Ms Fits, what is your opinion of Toni Pearen?

Make yourselves at home, gentlemen...

So... do you like stuff?

Hi Marieke,

Just thought you would like to know that everyone's favourite little delinquent 'Jake' is not alone...

http://www.bigfooty.com/forum/showthread.php?t=309734&page=6

There is 5 pages of these sexually deprived spotty faced children enjoying this outrageous smut.
What is wrong with the kids these days?

you really need to get laid, Waldorf. Jakey is the best and me and him are teh coolest and I hang out in Northcote cause it hasn't been desensitised by fat bogans yet and if jake were here i would kiss him

mwa

Nurse, we have a code blue. We need to perform a transplant, stat. Please bring me one healthy, working sense of humour.

There is nothing humourous about sexual harrasment.

Hi Marieke,

I wouldn't worry too much about these young boys, they're just YOUNG (if you know what i mean ;) ;)).

If you're looking for a more mature man who works out and has a gig moderating bigfooty.com, then look no further doll face, i'm your man. Girls often describe me as too good looking and say 'i make them feel insecure because of my aloof arrogance and irresistable looks.' It gets dull, but maybe, you're the kind a girl secure enough to handle a guy like me? does this sound like someone you would love to go out with?

If so, get ready for some intensive self googling, because i'm leaving a treasure hunt for you girly that only a clever girl like you could nut out.

binxy

She's got a (private) facebook account, and a secretive online persona in Second Life, if anyone's interested.

Ignore my previous post, I am really a sad old man who tries to be sauve and sophisticaed. But I reall come off as lame and creepy. I hope you forgive me for my previous comments.

I'm off to masturbate on a donkey.

I like young boys.

On that last comment, while at first it showed promise and the character had alot of potential, the ending just wasn't what it could of been.
A disappointing read.

2 stars.

Maarie...Markieti......whatever the fuck your name is....ignore my previous posts, it was my hateful subconcious....I thought the pills had quietened things down but alas...I'm sorry Mariekieterite...forgive me....or fuck me and forgive Jake...or fuck Jake and forgive me.....or fuck Murray while Jake watches......

I'm off to masturbate on a donkey.

I used to date a stripper

You pre-pubescent boys should just grow the fuck up.

R-A-GG-M-O-PP

RAGMOP! Dada dadada
RAGMOP! Dada dadada
RAGMOP! Dada dadada

Please ignore that post by that imposter pretending to be me. The truth is I have cut off every newspaper piece you have ever written, and I have a extensive folder dedicated to you, my dear.

Please be at Federation Square at 1:00 tomorrow afternoon. I want to propose to you by cumming on your stomach.

I'm off to shit on catfishjake, then to fist his anus while he pisses in my mouth. Then a dog while come to join us.

I don't like it.

it was you, it WAS you
whose foot fit, PERFECTLY in that shoe
.............so eloquentloo
pardon? it was who?

Nicky i love you.
I figure this is the perfect place to finally tell you, i cum everynight thinking of you.

Please lets stop fighting so we can finally be together.

whateva, ur not man enough 4 me.

srsly, bananas are fattening.

Jakey, u r mine!

The sooner we get the fuck up to the Gold Coast the better - Thommo's skin isn't just gonna tan itself

so anyway...I was dating this stripper, right.....

Sorry Marieke, I'm married now and you're not on my celebrity list....

I want a divorce, you fucking cunted fat bitch. Hawkeye, what kind of fuckwit loser nickname is that. I want a divorce.

Hawkeye when I see you I think of sea mammals

I miss you guys :-(

Can't wait till we add some more to our pod Magnum.

I hate you hawkeye. i fuck binxy.

too young for me, matey, yes?

your cock is too big. cum....

This blog will never be the same. Red Cards allround.

Nicky, please let me stick my penis in your ear.
You'll love it when i coat your lobe in my cum.

no, nutsy, you loser.


i wanna threeway with binxy, muarry, and jake will be whipped.

What's with all the hate Waldorf. Some of us aren't sexually deprived spotty faced children some of us are middle aged spotty faced middle aged bogans.

Marieke I think you look like Winifred who used to be on Angel the Buffy spinoff. She was pretty too until dhe turned into a psycho alien b!tch. I hope that doesn't happen to you

ignore my previous posts, i am a loser with a beard.

It's not a beard it's movember

go away, imposter.

I am off to spy on an asian. fucking dogshitted jew burning cunts.

i wanna lick hawkeyes cunt

i wack off to midget porn while fucking horses,

ooh Appleyard, put on this chain

Stop it before i kill you all in a "natural" disaster.

You guys make me sick

Tweet tweet you bunch of faggots

a jihad on u all.

ohh, i am so old and gay.

best be off wanking on to my food bowl for my daily nourishment.

i like wearing diapers.


fuck you binxy

It's Marieke's half-birthday on the 26th, we should get her something. Sexpo's open till Sunday, I'll see what's on special.

Disgrace, not even real.

Cum git eating behaviour from yours truly has meant that i have lost my pink ugg boots. I was hoping to pick up at the local Sunbury club, where they have that strange 'no women' rule. Oh well, never affected me having a good time.

Fuck you, jake.prepare to be banned. I hate all of you little worms. But you just still believe me, just like how the police believed me when I said I didn't spend all of the red cross money on renovations to my house, and a breast job for my granny.

I am going to fuck you over jakey, just like i did to that 24 year old coon while shitting on his mothers face.

what about Eco???

You guys just can't keep you're mouths shut can you?

You should all be ashamed, especially those lowlifes posting under my name. You know who you are.

Ms Fits, can you provide me with advice on how to handle imbeciles who carry on like Grade 3 kids? Or are you content to just let the current inanity run its course?

I'm touched that we're all getting along so well.

hey guys, i'll stop pretending to be other people now. I'm lame, sorry.

night.

ohhh, i better go and wank off to nicky. then i'll fucking fuck her right up the arse. then i'll piss on jake.

I am the real Tigernuts.
I wish people would stop trying to impersonate me, i know your lives must suck compared to me, but please stop trying to be me.

ignore that ther wanker of a poster trying to be me. I am too cool for them. Me, the greatest living actor in any generation reducded to mere imitations! Bah! I will now fuck nicky up the arse whilst cutting myself, cause i'm so emo.

I don't think "takes all sorts" quite covers it...

Indeedy Ben... actually what is with the odd migrations of discussion threads over here lately? First the ONJ fans and now the entire cast of --Insert Miscellaneous Highschool Football Club here--. I'm predicting the Babysitters Club fanlisting takes up residence next week followed by the lonely Rottweiler owners' discussion board in early December. Who's with me?

Take the joke as it's meant

If you weren't so up yourself you might see the lighter side of life. Have a laugh once in a while.

Gor is so 90's and Sexpo is boring...... Where do I meet women in Melbourne with Ms Fits' attributes ??

Oh yeah... Gor is for nutters... I'll take BDSM without the psychosis thanks...

Time for a new blog entry.......

Post #150. Ms Fits, don't forget rendezvous at Fed Sq today.

My nameis diego, i fucking burned those fucking jews.

Dear Ms Fits I write to you today as Fred has escaped from our institute and we think he may be a danger to you. We were happy for him to build up a complete fantasy world ("Bigfooty") where he played all the characters himself but now that he's escaped we're worried that he may knock you out with a bowling pin and cut out your vagina.
We would strongly recommend not going to Federation square and wearing metallic underpants.

the actual jake looks kinda cute, and he's suitably embarrassed by his mates behaviour, which is sweet. Poor bastard.

Happy Valentine's Day Marieke, and happy three month anniversary (for last week). - Love Jake.