The perks of the job.
Drug-affected man #1: OMG we were just talking about you this morning! (nudging friend) Look man, it's her.
Drug-affected man #2: Fuck, we were just talking about you!
Drug-affected man #1: That's what I just said!
Drug-affected man #2: Yeah, we were totally talking about you. We were comparing you to Myf.
Me: Right.
Long pause.
Drug-affected man #2: (glancing awkwardly at friend)...so, um....yeah.
Longer pause.
Drug-affected man #1: We were talking about what you looked like and what you'd wear, and Briggsy reckoned 'dark purple'. That's what he said you'd wear, that you'd wear 'dark purple'.
Me: I never wear dark purple.
Drug-affected man #2: Totally!
Drug-affected man #1: Hey, no offence and stuff...but you're much hotter than we expected.
Me: Gee. Thanks.
Drug-affected man #2: Yeah, cause we were talking about you this morning...and no offence, but we all thought you'd be really...podgy.
Me: Okay.
Drug-affected man #2: We thought you'd look like Myf, but...you know when your tv's broken and the picture goes all stretched out and fat?
Me: Yes.
Drug-affected man #1: Like that.
Me: Sure.
Long, strained pause.
Drug-affected man #1: (thoughtful) Your tits are as good as Myf's, though.
Comments
Because your tits are far better than hers, obviously.
Bonus round: I used to work evenings at a supermarket a lot of stoners used to find as they rolled out of the hills. Picture two stoners loaded with munch tucker and dithering in the bread aisle.
Stoner 1: We should...get...some crumpets.
Stoner 2 (tiny confessionary voice): I...love crumpets.
No, sir. I...love stoners.
And we love you, Marmalade.
Without Marmalade, we'd all be in a jam.Some jokes really should be left unsaid ...
You really should conserve those puns until later in the comments.
OH GOD THE PUNNING PEOPLE HAVE RETURNED.
Meeting your self was my highlight of the day, even though I was half-naked, and had just been elbowed in the face by Lady Solar
(How would the stoners cope if Ms Fits sat alongside said mannequin? Would it freak them into going clean/straight/sober?)
2. You should direct those men to the Hardy Watch site, where whoever is behind it has posted multiple pictures of your breasts, even though you pulled the post down.
3. You posted about these men complimenting your physical appearance. Why? Because you need to tell the world that some people found you attractive? They were, apparently, drug-addled, though, and maybe that's the only sort of person who would find you attractive.
4. Most of us can see past your (mediocre) superficial physical appearance to what lies beneath, and that is hypocritical, narcissistic, small-minded and ultimately shallow. Very shallow.
5. That is all.
To Anon above - you're a twerp and I don't like you.
Fitsy, your tits are nothing short of lovely. Some of us can only aspire...
Orange you a funny one, EE.
A toast to you and yours.
A-aren't they?
I've always thought so. And if that isn't a fucking compliment, what is?
Anon, Everyone's entitled to their opinion but you are so in the minority, so please respect our opinion when we kindly ask you to sod off.
Give the girl a new do, Please proof read, and/or learn how to spell.
The Punisher, When I read your name, I initially thought you were a sadist, but then it became clearer. :-)
EclecticEccentric, Stop posting acres of comments and treating Ms Fits' blog as if it were your own.
Have a good night everyone!
Is there such a thing as breast envy?
or does being stoned, give people supernatural abilities?
I'm quite enjoying the Marmalade puns. I think we should spread them around.
It's really easy to say nasty things about people when you're known as Anoymous...dickhead.
Yeah, as opposed to 'Rose' which is so much more of an enlightening moniker than 'anonymous'.
Or marmalade.
I'd be interested to know what inspired your moniker!
Anonymous (yes I realised I spelt his name incorrectly earlier on) was out of line and needs a swift kick in the pants, unless there is some 'in joke' going on between him and Ms Fits that we are not aware of.
Finding out that you were taking on the role made me feel much better about Myf's betrayal.
I still don't listen to JJJ though.
Though I have to pull Summers up on this one...Myf is in her mid thirties and she decided to leave a youth radio station for a radio station with an older demographic. Makes sense to me. And yes she's probably making more money...good on her...is that not something that drives most of us over the long term? To earn more money as we get older? If you don't you're a mug. A poor mug. Myf served Triple J well, and I reckon they realise that.
But goddamn, Rustique is right. They are indeed magnificent...
Comments are closed.