The Sisterhood.
Last night I went to watch my best friend in the whole world perform in Moira Finucane's Burlesque Hour . I have NEVER SEEN SO MANY LESBIANS IN ONE PLACE AT THE ONE TIME. I was on my own, being the lone wolf-type character that I am, and ended up squeezed onto a table of particularly noisy and irritating bean-flickers who held hands and laughed too loud even through the serious bits. Even then I only really wanted them dead when the loudest one yelled at interval: 'THIS IS MY FRIEND ANDREW. WE DID A DANCE TOGETHER AT SCHOOL ABOUT OEDIPUS AND HE HAD TO CLIMB INSIDE MY VAGINAS FOR ABOUT FIFTEEN MINUTES. AHAHAAA!'Apart from a bit where you had to guess how many jellybeans were in Carla's underpants, I think my favourite part of the show was when Azaria Universe - who has a particularly insane name but is actually quite sexy - mimed 'Total Eclipse of the Heart' completely naked but for strings of pearls. There really were a lot of vaginas in the show.
p.s. I also saw the MC5 play at the Palace. They were good. Evan Dando sang and he has lady hair these days.
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For some reason the really butch lesbians don't really like me. I thought it was something about me. My wife insists that it's because I'm a man and have no clitoris to offer them. Or maybe they can smell my fear.
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