There's still something about the book's title that makes me feel a bit strange, though.
Last night on my radio show we entertained ex-stripper turned novelist 'Teri' (not her real name - INTRIGUING). She drove all the way from the Mornington Peninsula to tell us about her new book and was generally a delight.
HERE ARE SOME THINGS YOU WILL LEARN ABOUT STRIPPING FROM 'READ MY LIPS':
- Catfights!
The 'ladies' involved in stripping aren't all like Tootie and Blair on The Facts Of Life. They pull each other's hair and shove each other in the vagina for taking up too much time 'on table'. Some of them are not very supportive. This is shocking as I had visions of sisterly singalongs and shared hairbrushing like the Pi Delta Pi's in Revenge of the Nerds. Sadly, I am only half-joking.
- 'Fanny wipes'!
Enough said, really.
- Dispelling the myth!
In her book, 'Teri' says young ladies should NEVER BELIEVE THE HYPE ABOUT RAKING IN THE BUCKS. After late fines, costume charges and paying the proprietor to dance on their pole*, girls can leave venues with a mere hundred bucks for six hours' work. Confusingly, she then went on to describe how at her peak she took in about two grand a night. WHO'S WITH ME?
*starts blogger strip night*
- Watch out for cheeky customers!
According to 'Teri', one must keep their wits about them when one is gyrating their vagina in someone else's face. Not only can wandering hands make naughty impressions, but 'blokes try'n shove beer bottles up yer arse and all!'.
Cue community radio dead air.
861 days til the next election.
*Not a sexual metaphor**.
** Oh alright, kind of.
Comments
Fifi come dance on my pole.
I noticed you skimmed over the fanny wipes thing. Was that necessary?
*Heads to Bookstore*
I was waiting for you to say something about the title on the show! Surely it is meant as a double entendre? Surely you asked her off-air at some point?
BEER BOTTLES! *face turns green*
Shhhh... don't tell anyone but I'm bringing a girl that can pole dance very very well to your party...
Hush Hush
By the way I've never heard anyone use your name as many times as Kerry did last night... it made me giggle
Fuck, I forgot to tune in. Dammit.
I would have given Andrew Bolt's testicles to have heard it, but alas I didn't. DAMN AND FURY. We require better notice of what's on Fitsy (your footy nickname) from this day forth. Not good enought to have said info in right column- post lovely! POST!
thomasr
Good grief. I was eating yoghurt while I read this post.
Dear Ms Fits,
Team Vadge is proud to present you with a virtual Vadge of Honour for all your ongoing services to Vadge.
\ \ / /
\ * /
\||/
Yours vadgefully,
Team Vadge x
That looks more like Miffy, Dick Bruna's lovable cartoon rabbit, than a vagina.
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