Things about music videos.
On the weekend, me and SJ agreed to appear in the Suits' music video. Partly because we like them and their songs and partly because we are vaguely whoreish and crave attention. Here are some things:
1. Haunted Mansion!
The Suits, in adorably Monkees -stylee fashion, live together in an enormous crumbling mansion.
Actually, it's less of a mansion than it is an ex-nursing home. And fuck, is it creepy. A thousand echoey rooms with helpful old-people rails, buzzers next to the bed and the occasional wafty scent of death. Rumour was going around that it's the same house involved in those kerosene bath scandals from a few years ago, but no-one seemed to know for sure. Needless to say, it's an okay place to be in if you're with fifty hungover friends and a film crew, but I wouldn't want to be dancing naked alone in my room to Dallas Crane of a quiet winter's evening.
2. Maurice!
Maurice was the ghost who apparently lived in Nolan's room. He's white and bald and old, according to the band. I didn't see him but the props guy emerged with wide eyes, saying he definitely saw 'something...wow' . There's something kind of perverse about shooting a kinky rock video involving naked men and strippers in a place where a lonely pensioner soul is lurking, do you not think?
3. Unexplained happenings!
Mirrors falling off walls. Lamps toppling over, setting off sparks. Finishing early two days running. Things were afoot . Although it could have just been voodoo. You never can be too sure.
4. You have the right to remain...sexy!
Get this. Me and SJ were cast as 'hot cops'. This involved running around in tight police uniforms and high heels, occasionally whipping out our batons and looking comically threatening. The gist of the clip is that we spend the entire time racing around a party looking for the Suits. 'Have you seen the Suits?' 'Where are the Suits?' 'TELL ME WHERE THE SUITS ARE' etc. Naturally, as hot cops, we start growing impatient when we are pointed in many different and misleading directions. When we find the boys, a chase ensues. Then we stop them in an alley and take our clothes off. It is unbelievably dazzling. SJ says 'Stop right there!' in a cop way and I say breathily: 'When we say stop...we mean stop ...'.
My mother will be proud. And she totally dropped by 'set' (there's another film term for you) to drink in the only time in her life she'll see me in police uniform.
Oh, yeah. The thing. Listen, engaging with those shrieking vacuous bumlords is about as enticing as period pain at the moment. Can we just leave it by saying that in a week where Yasser Arafat is close to death and George Bush wins the US election , Andrew Bolt chose to write his column on.... me ? I am kind of like Jesus.
6 days til Gabi comes home.
1066 days til the next election.
Comments
Now, why were you surprised. Remember we now live in a time where Values are more important than anything else.
Yep, a Values driven society is now what we are.
Which means most of us here must be Values-less or something. Cause people like MAB and Bolty are the epitomy of this Values movement.
And you are an attention-whore, aren't you!
Haha, okay, well, I feel an idiot for saying this - but I'm so proud of you. You don't know me, obviously, just a reader, and while your style might not be quite my cup of tea at times, I still think it's great. And best of all, this has all been about you standing up for what you believe in.
Put simply - I'm glad you're a leftie. I'd rather have you on my side than MAB any day.
Off topic (I too am weary of She Who Rideths Horses saga)...
... I am rather excited for you that Gabi will be back in less than a week.
And considering I don't know her in any capacity other than as a footnote on all your blog entries over the past month or so, it simultaneously makes me incredibly empathetic and sensitive, and very fucking sad indeed.
So when will this vid be on Rage? I'll set the PVR.
You are on the top of my list to pop out of a cake dressed as either a cop, a nurse or a flapper with a tommy gun. Please note, my big birthday celebration is January 4th California Time. Assuming our planet is still spinning on it's axis at that time.
"unwittingly helping to push us into the abyss of despair"
Wow. If Andrew Bolt's being pushed into an abyss of despair, I wanna see.
Hell, let me know if you need any help. I've got a crowbar you can use.
Paul
funkwit.com
Hello? Chopped liver feeling a little hurt at lack of props over here....
The perfect response.
Promise you'll remember to let us know when the video clip is to premiere?
Hey, congrats on the clip, you rock! Cannae wait to see it, even though my chosen girl-getup is schoolgrrl rather than cop :P
Schmitz said I should love you ... so i will. I await your next and well overdue entry with quiet reserve and an insatiable passion. (If indeed that were not an oxymoron).
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