Things Foreign Minister Alexander Downer should stop saying if he wants people to think of him of something other than a slightly toffy bumlord.
"Mr Garrett doesn't seem to have the power or the passion to contradict his political general."(Snorting pompously with excitement for own 'quip'),"Perhaps his own lyrics were prophetic: 'When the Generals talk, You better listen to him, when the Generals talk, You better do what he say…'"
(Fluttering eyelashes in camp, 'get her ' fashion) "Now this is a can do man."
(With regard to a policy backflip) "But I was emotionally affected by the corroboree"
(Wisely using confectionary as point of reference) "You know government isn't about always easy decisions or being a marshmallow."
(Pouting) " But I didn't realise that becoming leader of the Liberals meant working seven days a week and travelling constantly."
"We all tolerate people's private sexual preferences (winking coyly)- that's a matter for them - but he was in his case very much in your face, very overt, and it was a matter of some substantial embarrassment to the Australian embassy."
(braying like private schoolboy on heat) "The respect we won for what we did in East Timor – not that everyone loved us for it, but they respect us for it – that’s something we don’t have to brag about the whole time."
(Finding great amusement in wife-bashing) "Perhaps instead of the 'Things that Matter' we could address the 'Things that Batter'! Haha!"
(Dressed Hawaiian-style replete with wig and shades, singing to the tune of 'Spirit in The Sky') "Hey everyone, we're going to Brunei/That's where I'm gonna go when I die/When I die and they lay me to rest/Gonna go to the place that's the best."
(Puffed up with self-importance, playfully tweaking own nipples) "If one needed authority to refute such claims, one could do no better than to recall the words of Korea's President, and one-time political prisoner, Kim Dae Jung..."
(Hand on reporter's knee, breathing heavily through rouged lips)"A demonstration of 12 people? I think not, mon ami. I think we can cope with 12 leftists. (Suggestively) Can't we?"
He should also stop posing for photos like this:
Comments
Maybe. But still, he looks pretty hot in high heels.
Why are you so angry?
Why can't everyone just love each other...
Christ alive! I thought I'd invented the term 'bumlord' as an insult my pals who wont come out to the pub because it's a week night. Fucking bumlords.
Alexander Downer invented the word bumlord as he is King Bumlord. And he wouldn't be coming down the pub with you either.
Not that you'd want him to as no doubt he'd 'sit on a shandy' 'til 9:30 before 'heading off to bedfordshire'.
Can I just remind people of the name of Downer's domestic violence policy when he was opposition leader?
The things that batter
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