Things my best friend did to me last night that would have been very inappropriate if anyone else tried to do them.
- Slapped my knockers.
- Toyed suggestively with some sour cream.
- Called me her missus.
- Picked my nose.
- Compared me unfavourably to a bag lady at a bus stop.
- Insisted I remove the post on this blog that said one of her colleagues had 'a gay name'.
- Practiced bad open-mouth teeth-bang kisses on me.
- Stroked my thigh slowly and insanely saying: 'Ooh, laaahhhvely', with the sole purpose of creeping me out.
- Got angry at me for not eating more of her soup.
- Stood outside my front door bent over double with her face pressed up against the glass. For a long time. A very long time.
Comments
alas, my nearest and dearest pal speaks the truth. i oft do such things to. she likes it.
i do feel compelled to correct her ever so slightly though. it was indeed she who picked my nose. i would never take such liberties with another. never.
How dare you visit my blog and contradict me, you Czechoslovakian cum-junkie.
This is my blog and what I say goes. And as if anyone would believe I would be crass enough to pick your interestingly-shaped nose.
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See Gabi? I am god of this world. Don't try to cross me.
Isn't this where the saying "You can pick your friends, and they can pick your nose" comes to mind!
I thought it was: You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you CANNOT PICK YOUR FRIENDS' NOSES.
Either way it was entirely inappropriate.
Um ... can we just go back to the "Czechoslovakian cum-junkie" bit?? ...
I love Cum-Junkie almost as much as I like the term "Blog Administrator."
I'm going to tell people that's my job.
Takes one to know one, Krank.
YOWZA, Ms Fits does it again!! Stand back, for my razor-sharp wit will surely smite ye!
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