Things that happened to me last weekend at Surfers Paradise that made me feel youthful and vibrant.
1. I went on this ride and screamed like a fucking idiot with brain damage.2. I was asked for i.d. to prove I was over eighteen. Four times . I am twenty-eight years old and have decided to unequivocally keep the pigtails. If ridiculous hair is going to get me carded for the next few years and make me look enviously young around my friends who don't get asked for i.d and are obviously utterly jealous of me , then bring on the braids and ribbons. And knee-high socks. There's got to be knee-high socks.
3. I was walking into a strip club feeling decidedly shady and hard, when the cute girl at the counter stopped taking my money and started staring at me.
'Excuse me,' she said. 'Weren't you on telly once?'
There is nothing like being recognised as a child actor when you're handing over sinful dollars to see naked ladies' parts. Because yes, that is what I am and I'm revealing it to you all now as it's time we were truthful with each other.
See? That's me in the middle. Obviously I look much hotter than that now and wear more revealing clothing. The pigtails have stuck, though.
4. Also another man came up to me at a bar named Clocks and said exactly the same thing. Which leads me to the conclusion that I must be somehow trapped in a time warp where around me others age while I stay vivacious and child-like.
Either that or I have some very obsessed fans who were way too 'into' HK2* and now follow me around the country to paw and me and try to touch my hair.
* This is the cool and in way to refer to Henderson Kids 2. You may not use it unless you were actually in the show, which you weren't and I was. So stop trying to impress me.
Comments
Comments are closed.