Things that have happened since John Howard won.
- Rickie-Lee was voted off Australian Idol.
Everyone totally knows she was supposed to win. She and her husky voice were my next choice for a threeway. And now that little LoveBoat gaylord with the Esprit t-shirt has got it in the bag. Hideous.
- Rumour has it that the Rob Roy Hotel is closing down in three weeks.
It's a tax thing. And apparently other Melbourne live venues are going to drop too. This is supposed to be the moment where we as song-lovers rise up and say: 'Sure, but they can't take away our musi...oh, wait.' So goodbye, fallback Punters Club.
And I'm not just mourning because I had dj gigs booked there from here until February. It's also where I was planning to spend my barfly retirement gazing at boys and talking politics in the front bar.
- I got a kidney infection and had to go to hospital.
At least you know my excuses for missing a day's blogging are halfway decent. And the doctor in emergency kept calling it a 'wagina'. So I've already come out of it with some self-deprecatingly charming material.
Coming soon in 'things that have happened since John Howard won':
- Introducing 'I Fucked Your Mum' Fridays!
- Everyone with an even-numbered street address gets hair-cut like Pauly Shore, or Flynn, or any one of those Asian people they make fun of on Idol as though they were retarded figures of fun and not actually human.
- Even thinking about other bloggers can give you an STD.
- People lose their mind and start thinking that Ronald Reagan and Margaret Thatcher were actually halfway decent statesmen who deserve to be respected and praised instead of strung up and raped by Mr. T. No wait, that happened already.
31 days til Gabi comes home.
1091 days til the next election.
Comments
Oh dear Ms Fits, here’s hoping that your kidney illness is not too debilitating.
Perhaps ladies such as ourselves shouldn’t stumble through city lane ways at 5am on a Sunday??
Much love,
XXX
Rob Roy closing??!?!?!?
I love that place! I love going to midnight "night terrors" gigs there, I love the way that I feel like an instant local (even if I am from Sydney)
i think that thinking about you thinking about me has just given me an std too.
Wash your mouth out, Lee Lee. 5am staggering is the only course of action when the world has turned to fucking shit.
eeee - sympathies - kidney infections are one of the most painful things sufferable.
be well, ms fits!
Get well soon Ms Fits.
I'd send you a card but I'm cheap.
... and he's easy!
Which is far better than a card, in my books.
https://educationalinsights.com/Merchant2/graphics/1050.gif
Consider mouth suitably cleansed by the expulsion of many profanities peppered with “JWHoward is a righteous choady cheese ingesting, bovine fucking fuck who reeks like shitake mushrooms.”
Lemme know if you need me to bring over a bottle of Pinot Grigio to aid the kidney functions.
get yourself some cranberry juice! lots and lots!
Ow, mother fucker. Kidney infection.
..Okay, I feign any awareness of how painful that might be. I read it's one of the worst pains sufferable however, and that's good enough for me. Like everyone else, hope you get that shit out of your system so you may return to previous form. John Howard is such a CUNTFUCK.
Oh, look, a natural segue.
I only started reading this blog recently (Hello there), but today I figured out the answer to our next election problem..
In preparation for said election, which is in 1091 days, we (you) must organise for Pro-Labor subliminal messaging to appear in every single Neighbours episode between now and the ballot boxesss. Have the ALP logo in every scene and so on. Really reach the Australian public.
OKAY. So it was better five minutes ago.
Alternatively, you could call Costello and berate him over the phone. Either way.
As an aside.. Rickie-Lee was nothing in comparison to Courtney.
Yeah.
I'm GLAD she's gone, because she wasted valuable Courtney time. ..Somewhere down the line, that logic works. Ssh.
I'm just saying.
Hate to kick a girl in the kidneys when she's down but...
can't help but understand you're an avid fan of The Plug. from one avid fan to another you should know that next month is last edition. suck, suck, suck.
i just ate a orange and poppyseed muffin to make myself feel better. only worked for as long as it took to eat it.
check out the 'news' link on the latest Plug edition for confimation.
*thwack*... right in the kidneys
Sorry la nadine and I gave you that STD. You're the one who said you wanted to feel my unsheathed blog penetrate your womanly core. How am I supposed to both keep track of all the diseases I have on my blog AND remember to tell you.
I think your kidney is just trying to escape to New Zealand now that Howard is still in power. I fear he will still get to rub his winky up against President Bush's. Bush has only to win Florida and some little states and he gets to keep his fucking job. But I haven't truly given up hope yet.
just cos i know how damned pc y'all love to be in your daily bantering: it's STI not STD.
I've got a spare dialysis machine if you need it Ms Fits.
Get well soon.
me.
If it makes you feel any better, Tony Abbott was in even more pain that you with his kidney stones.
Thought that would bring a smile to your face!
And sorry to sound like your mother, but drink two large glasses of water first thing in the morning. You'll be doing your battered kidneys a favour (although it won't feel like it at first)
Cranberry juice, tick
Ural powder, tick
Beroccas, tick
Alcohol? Not this week my love. You'll just have to sniff some textas to blot out the pain of the election result.
maybe conclusions need to be drawn over the sanity of the majority of australian voters?
Comments are closed.