Things to do at Meredith.
Today I am going to the Meredith festival. Here are some things I will do:
- Drink white wine in the back of the van.
- Wear new Pandagate t-shirt to both bemuse and bedazzle passers-by (thanks Darp ).
- Touch some penis during Dallas Crane .
- Make gumboots and wet weather gear look quite sexy, in a Chloe Sevigny way.
- Corrupt Daniel Boud . I know you're jealous, ladies.
- Sneak into Gabi's tent and do inappropriate things in the dead of night. Then look innocent the next morning when she wakes up covered in blood and semen.
Here is what I will not do:
- Run the Meredith Gift naked but for caked-on mud.
- Touch aforementioned penis in front of my ex-husband.
- Take drugs and remain in the van for entire weekend talking hooey with strangers, therefore missing bands completely.
- Wander up to people on acid and say: 'Are you my mummy?'.
- Hippy vibrating 'so freaking out right now' dance during the Dirty Three .
- Go anywhere near the fucking totem tennis poles.
- Start rumour that Delta Goodrem will be playing the Sunday morning timeslot, 'so you'd better get up early if you want to catch those virginal pipes, chief!'.
The real inside skinny is that Meredith is covered in three inches of mud. Yes. Three inches. The entire length of John Howard's penis. Also it is going to rain pretty much non-stop until Sunday. So you won't be hearing from me until then - assuming that I make it out alive and without that cow disease people caught at Glastonbury after gaily flinging wet dirt at each other for the festival's duration.
1034 days til the next election.
Comments
i am so fucking there
yes. yes. yes.
I’ll hold down the Melbourne fort then, shall I? I’ve got Book Book and Knifey on stand by.
"Here is what I will not do:
- Run the Meredith Gift naked but for caked-on mud."
does this mean we will see you running the gift without the caked-on mud?
i look forward to seeing you there!
Leif
Christ, I knew he'd notice that post. Ah well, have fun.
Fave Glasto story - when it rained (surprise surprise) and the dance tent filled with mud a few years back. A bright spark decided that they'd use the machine which sucks the shite from the portable loos to suck out the mud from the dance tent, hence all the pilled up Brits could resume their grooving without having to manouvre through metre deep mud (or something).
Brillant, you'd agree - until the machine malfunctioned, and began blowing rather than sucking. Out came the mud - and the previously collected toilet chunks - hosing the dance floor crowd in crusty poo. A fave joke that year was "I always said dance music was shit!"
Party hard, festival goers.
Whats the bet youve done at least half of the "do not do list" or know someone who has?
I just bought a Misfits T-Shirt on Melrose, as in the truly outrageous Jem's rivals, who's song were better, and thought of you.
I like shopping in the city of angles especially when compared to music festivals. Music should be on disks, at worst in small rooms with good speakers where you are allowed to smoke. I just can't grasp the music in a field thing. Though I bestow my utter good wishes on your venture. I know I'm alone on this one.
First, I understand Australia is teeming with poisnous fucking snakes. No way, no how, am I going to camp out at this Meridith thingy. Second-No Bean bags allowed, what the F is up with this, thing against bean bags. Ok, Third, I've never heard of any of these bands in SW Africa. Finally, Sharks, sharks, sharks sharks...where does a hippo go below water and not be harrassed by sharks. Its a fine country I'm sure. In fact, my sister left for australia over a year and half ago and she ain't come back (maybe a snake or a shark go 'er). Nonetheless, have fun but be safe kids.
Dr. H.O. Potamus
sharks? meredith? someone send that boy a map.
and having just returned from the front line (as it were) i can assure you there was plenty of mud for the hippos to wallow in. there was even a late model metallic blue SS commodore that had over-wallowed, and was wheel deep and going nowhere. (not the only one to get bogged, of course, but he would have been okay if the body hadn't been lowered)
Leif
During a discussion on radio last week, about the new police "drug driving" test, someone suggested they might be giving it a test run on people leaving Meredith. Any news on whether that's happened or not?
Very Wise Fits. The caked on mud will only slow you down. Can't wait to hear how the penis groping went. I hope you had your camera to capture the mudlovelyness.
Owen Wilson alert.
I don't know if he's out of rehab, but there's a petition to get him a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, and I couldn't see your name on there, Ms Fits. You can leave a comment as well:
http://www.petitionspot.com/petitions/walkoffamestarforowen
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