Things you don't want someone to say to you in a meeting when you're trying to look important.
Yesterday I was in a story meeting for my show and this short writer I have sex dreams about suddenly says: 'Hey, did anyone here ever hear about that chick at triple R who put cocaine on her clitoris for a dare?'
There was a silence and then he turned to me.
'Hey, you might have heard about her. Have you heard about her? Me and my friends used to have major arguments about this.'
At this point I try to wrest the meeting back into control like the gun story-editor and script king I am, but he presses his point. Short people are fucking persistent.
'You must have heard about her. You do a show at Triple R.'
There's an ugly pause in the room and then he looks at me wide-eyed.
'Wait a minute, was that you ?? Holy fuck! Was that you ??? Fuck! Seriously ?? FUCK!!'
You know when you just want someone to shut up and look back out the window at Daryl Somers'* trailer?
I hate when the radio show catches up with me. It's like the time we did a show about threesomes and the next time I saw my parents they said through lips of string: 'Well, aren't we glad we bought a new bed, then?'
*There is a running dare in this office to steal Daryl Somers' car park plaque. Apparently it went on crooked and his 'people' contacted maintenance to get it straightened. Cock. Head.
Comments
What is the address of that car park? Could one get at it after hours?
Book Book, you know I can't be party to such a heinous crime.
But just between you and me...it's a commercial television studio. And it's not 9 or 10. And it rhymes with 'Bevan'.
Wait, did you put cocaine on your clitoris? How was it verified?
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