This is just ridiculous now.
*ring ring*
Lady: Good morning, Prime Minister's office.
Me: Hello, I was wondering if you could help me out. I was just wanting to know what the date of the election was.
Lady: ......I'm not sure I can help you with that, actually....
Me: It's just that my friend Will wants to have a party on the 17th. And my boyfriend's sister is getting married on the 24th. I'm trying to plan my social calendar around this, so...
Lady: Well, yes. But we don't actually know when the Prime Minister's going to call it.
Me: I understand that, but if you could give me some idea.
Lady: It'll be four to six weeks after he calls it. So if you count backwards -
Me: I don't want to count backwards. I need a date. If this clashes with Lucy's wedding I'll be utterly ropable.
Lady: .........
Me: It's in the country, you see. The ceremony.
Lady: You can always postal vote.
Me: It's not about postal voting. The outcome of the election will affect the entire mood of the wedding.
Lady: Oh.
Me: Because, you know, if John Howard wins....
Lady: Yes, I see what you mean.
Me: ...it will cast a deathly pall over the whole day. No-one wants that fucking evil overlord returned to power.
Lady: .......
Me: Hello?
Lady: (frosty) I'm not sure I can help you any longer. Thank you for calling.
**********************
*ring ring*
Lady #2: Peter Costello's office.
Me: Hello. I was wondering if you could tell me the date of the election.
Lady #2: Er, no. I'm not sure that's possible -
Me: Because I saw an article in the paper today where Peter Costello was saying the Prime Minster was taking too long to decide. So I figured he might know.
Lady #2: No, that's the Prime Minister's job I'm afraid.
Pause. Sense of deep and abiding bitterness.
Lady #2: We don't know anything around here until he decides it.
Me: It's just that my boyfriend's sister is getting married in the country....
Lady #2: (suddenly) When's the wedding?
Me: The 24th of November.
Lady #2: And when would you leave Melbourne?
Me: The Friday, probably.
Lady #2: Well, as soon as the Prime Minister calls it the AEC will open their offices for pre-polling. So you don't have to vote on Saturday 24th -
Beat. Hasty correction.
Lady #2: Just, you know, saying it is Saturday 24th, for example. It could be any date. We really don't know.
Awkward pause.
Lady #2: I wasn't saying it was going to be the 24th. I wouldn't know either way, haha!
Me: Right.
Lady #2: Not until the Prime Minister decides, anyway. I know nothing until then.
Long pause.
Lady #2: (snaky, in the manner of put-upon gangster) Yeah. That's his job, alright. And he'll do it in his own sweet time.
**************************
I'd call that a step in a certain direction, wouldn't you?
Look, just ask them yourselves:
JH: (02) 6277 7700
PC: (03) 9822 4422
36 days til the next election.
or possibly 46. Watch this space.
Comments
Hmm 24th hey? Same day as dear old Mum's birthday bash here's hoping she gets a decent present this year
Note to JH: 24th would suit me nicely, thanks. Am seeing Missy Higgins on the 23rd so a followup election party would be tops.
That's Queenscliff weekend.
This could be good (dancing in the streets)
...or very very bad (mass suicide)
I'm in it.
"The time allowed from the expiry or dissolution of the House to polling day is therefore not less than 33 days and not more than 68 days."
By my feeble estimation this leaves November 24th clear for social engagements and provides Johnny with the opportunity to go out on perhaps the only honest note of his entire career some time "early in December".
So now we have cleared that one up all I guess you need to decide is what to wear to the country wedding of the boyfriend's sister, Queenscliff, Mother's day of birthing etc.
Oh god, T. I hope you're right. If so, I owe your 'travel booking spies' a drink.
from press gallery
But Antony Green is HOT. Think of him as a kind of visual foreplay tool.
also, don't necessarily count on the usual (date announced on a sunday arvo) 33 day campaign, as the govt is so rubber-ducked this time that they may go for a longer campaign.
I thought he was gnome-y rather than creepy, wee tiny thing that he is.
Also I am almost certain it will be the 24th as we have scheduled long weekend mass camping. I'll be the one sitting in the car listening to Antony Green.
Meanwhile, December 1, I think, is sounding more and more likely.
Weren’t we all supposed to hand in our own ring rings?. I have always done things different
P c Office. pc office
C. Good afternoon, I would like to ask a question on procedure within the liberal party
P c office. Yes go ahead
C. My question is this (KR Line) Does Jh consult Jc on when best to announce the election date
Pc office. I’m not sure, I will have to go and check
Pc office. Silence
Pc office. We are not aloud to comment on that question. We know when everybody else does
C. Yeah sure
Pc Office. Are you disagreeing with me
C. I agree with no one
C. Do pc and jh hold hands when they are alone together
Pc office. Hand piece being put down annoyed sound
But then again if the Howard government falls, Meredith might turn into a massive goodbye and fuck off celebration for Howard's end.
Meredith Election Date!!!
Or, you know, drown ourselves in the creek.
not even worth thinking about
Damn the 24th, I'll be o/seas on hols. Early December please Mr Howard so I can watch and celebrate.. (hopefully)
Only because because - there's a full moon on the next night, and I'm sure that Janette would love to have the heavenly orb shining down upon her, and upon her heroic husband and his heroic eyebrows as they celebrate another term in orifice.
She makes the decisions.
The eyebrows just nod.
So, November 24. RATSAK Day, Yay!
That's my vote anyway!
There's a song in there somewhere...
Punters are usually right about these things.
where's the country wedding being held? (i ask because I too am attending a nov wedding in the country, my own, so chic right now :)
Still, poor Lucy – she'll never know if people are happy because of her wedding or because the evil dark overlord has got his oughts at last.
P.S. This is for you.
Comments are closed.