Reasons you will hate me

Note to all virgins who read Ms Fits: do not lose your virginity on a spare bed where the 'pillows' end of the bed sticks under a bookshelf. Do not let the phone ring. Do not jump up to answer the phone. Do not break your nose. The end.

virgins read ms fits' blog?

i feel irresponsible.

I've spoken about my first time at length on my blog, but let me just say - didn't tell the guy i was a virgin, and, halfway through as he pounded away, he said, and i quote:

'fuck, you're so tight... it feels like you havent even been broken in yet'yeah, he was a prince.

Being led by the hand upstairs by a girl I was told would, "put out" I still didn't quite grasp the reality of the situation.

Maybe it was the alcohoil or maybe it was my belief that no-one would sleep with a small geeky ratty haired boy such as myself.

But when she opened the door and switched off the light and pressed herself against me and slid her wet tongue across my open lips and her hands went south and I let mine loose until we fell on the futon and the heat was almost overpowering and it was a flurry, a mcflurry, and a game of get this off NOW...

And I lay on my back as she kissed my stomach and asked me what I liked, as though I knew what the fuck I liked, and all I could mew was "lots of tongue" in a broken, pubescent squeal and she gave that to me and I was lost, an explorer and I had found my El Dorado until she came back up all wet haired and dirty and she straddled me and...

The End.

Well, you know what Dr Rosie King always says in her Woman's Day column - nothing says "romance" more than referring to you as though you're a horse. Giddy-up, indeed!

Being led by the hand upstairs by a girl I was told would, "put out" I still didn't quite grasp the reality of the situation.

Maybe it was the alcohol or maybe it was my belief that no-one would sleep with a small geeky ratty haired boy such as myself.

But when she opened the door and switched off the light and pressed herself against me and slid her wet tongue across my open lips and her hands went south and I let mine loose until we fell on the futon and the heat was almost overpowering and it was a flurry, a mcflurry, and a game of get this off NOW...

And I lay on my back as she kissed my stomach and asked me what I liked, as though I knew what the fuck I liked, and all I could mew was "lots of tongue" in a broken, pubescent squeal and she gave that to me and I was lost, an explorer and I had found my El Dorado until she came back up all wet haired and dirty and she straddled me and...

The End.

after reading Sherriff's bodice ripper twice I can hardly remember what I meant to add . . .oh yeah my cherry popping was Very Very young and a same sex affair with Gypsy a bay pony . . .

late teens. very drunk. someone's house. child's bedroom. single bed. random idiot. random idiot's friends watching porn downstairs. painful. messy. bad.

I heard somewhere that you're supposed to remember the name of your first... It's a bit hard when it's a one night stand with someone you picked up at a 'Wonderstuff' concert because you were 16 and thought you would be well rid of your virginity.

I was.

19

prostitute

no further comment

19

prostitute

no further comment

Age: 18
Who: First girlfriend (ex at the time)
Defining characteristics: brevity

i just realised that i missed my TEN YEAR ANIVERSARY of losing my virginity 2 weeks ago!! i should have totally thrown a sex party!

me: 15 years old, with the daughter of my dad's girlfriends at the time. (on a scale of one to wrong, how disgraceful is that!?)

-anon

Disgraceful...and yet hot.

Happy anniversary, Anon.


*sends flowers*

19yo, remote secluded beach, French circus performer playing saxophone and talking in impossibly knickers-removing French accent. Agreed to get engaged. Stayed engaged for a year while he toured the world. Cheated on him. Realised sex was fun with other men too. Called off engagement. Never looked back.

I always claim I lost it twice because the first time was aborted hlafway through when her flatmates threw a vaccuum cleaner (a running one) into the room in a moment of (to them) drunken hilarity. The second time was just bloody awful. And I was waaaaaaay too old.

Age: 23
Situation: Both former born again christians and both virgins. On a couch at a house where I was dogsitting. Cops was on TV. A dog was watching. Me: madly in love. Him: Madly in love with himself. It was painful and bloody, like war. He broke my heart after he moved to England to study Mediaeval Literature.

...My first time tasted like cashews. Is that wrong?

No, no but seriously... does anyone have a NICE losing it story... cause all I'm hearing are broken noses and semi rapists.

I thought mine was quite touching.
Apart from, you know, the blood and parents and Scotch Fingers and stuff.

Geez...you were lot were old when you started!!

Age 12 with the boy who sat next to me at school, in the classroom, during the lunchbreak, with a lot of spit.

(Sounds like I am playing Cluedo!)

18, first real girlfriend, second day knowing her.

"Eh, do you really want to watch the second half of the State Of Origin?"
"Not really. I'm bored."
"Me too. Wanna fuck?"
"Alright."

I am a smooth, smooth man.

I won't tell you the story of my loss of virginity - it was a typical male affair; fumbling, drunk, trying to copy what I had seen in porn - but I will tell the story of my sister's loss of virginity which is somewhat more exciting.

She would have been 15 living in the small W.A. fishing town of Dongara where the only fun thing to do on the weekend was sneak out and attend parties run by older deckhands. Me, being her 13 year old younger brother, would tag along. One such weekend our mother caught on to our teenage hi-jinks and fronted up at the party to collect us... 'busted' as they used say in those days (late-80's). So my mum grabs me and we walk around the house looking for my sister, we look around for 20 minutes, can't find her, look around the garden, still no sign of her, eventually walk to the driveway and in the back seat of a car we see a little white bum thrusting away... my sister is being mounted by one of the local hoons ('Browney' I think his name was). 'Holy shit!' I think I must have said as Mum flew into the car to untangle her daughter. Quite funny now, but extremely traumatising for my sister. Poor thing.

18 years old. On the beach. Hurridly before our friends came back with more chiko rolls. Well, I just made that up to give it a puberty blues vibe, without the pregnancy scare mind you. There was a whole lotta "ouch it hurts", "stop" "the sand!" Stop visualising. I feel violated.In a mates way.

kilbot, i hope your sister reads this and gives you many a massive nipple cripple for sharing the (fucking hilharious) story of her "special time".

17
With a too smooth L.A. music agent in the guest bedroom of Glenn Wheatley's house in Toorak

17 - in Torquay, Vic. Defining characteristic - being on so much medication at the time that I was going "what's so good about this?" the whole time. There was also a shithouse soundtrack of the Romeo and Juliet soundtrack. Suffice to say I did not select it and would have probably chosen the best of Chisel instead.

Stupid kid.

Adam 1.0

14 (I think)
with another girl I'd been friends with since kindy.
It crapped all over the godawful dry humping and fumbling boys had inflicted on me. She smelled good and the whole experience undid much of the damage that ugly teen het encounters had on me.
when i finally did it with a guy i was 19 and it was the usual: kinda painful and alienating, but i loved him (and still do) so it got better from there...

Age: 14
With: First proper boyfriend.
Defining characteristics: downstairs at my parent's house in the middle of the night with Led Zepplin 3 on the stereo and black condoms.
It was great and we did it everywhere we could for 2 years after that.
He gave great head.
Since then I have popped ??? cherries myself.

Age: (Just turned) 22
With: Band Mate's girlfriend, who was also my good friend.
Defining characteristics: Abject fear, 2 hour sex.

Was long-term virgin; female friend started to take interest in this. We danced too close at indie night, when boyfriend was sick. I said can't do this here. She proposed to catch cab to mine. I said Ok but really thought she was joking.

She arrived 4am.

I was terrified, and got complete stage fright. No life where needed. She went down for several minutes (ladies, note, no saw palmetto required!) until all was in order. We had sex on the bed, couch, study desk and floor, (22 years is a lot of imagination to try out!) trying out almost everything. It was a humid Darwin night, we were so sweaty, and she was incredibly loud and confident and sensual. The windows were all wide open, moonlight streaming in.

I saw that night how it can be with a woman who has lost all taught inhibitions regarding sex, and it was an amazing experience.

She left at dawn, and I walked for a long time before sleeping all day.

It was excellent, although set such a high bar for subsequent relationships. I craved confident women and pursued those several years older than me for a while.


Advice for virgins (no, I don't believe any read this site anyway, but...) would be go with a highly sexed and experienced friend, do it purely for the sex.

Age: 23 (I have no idea what me so long)
With: Some 18 year old girl who had offered to sleep me when she was 17.
Defining characteristics: I feel off the bed. Too much alcohol.

I was finishing off the last couple of months of Uni and this first year girl just hung around drink with some of my friends. She begged me to sleep with her before she was 18 and a virgin. It took some resistance to turn her down which I did because she had previous told me that she sufferring from a mental illness.

Forward eight months, I meet this girl at a party again. She very drunk and again she wants to screw me. Couldn't be stuffed resisting. She brusts out crying in the taxi on the way back to my place, so I figure she does want to do it anymore. But no, we still do the act.

Turns out the girl really was sick and I feel extremely bad about it all. However, I did discover it was not very hard to get girls to sleep with me.

-Oscar

So, so not telling.

Age: 17
With: Boyfriend at the time.
Defining characteristics: Hot grinding session under rug in front of telly progressing into full on fuck whilst b/f's mum sleeping in next room.
Result: b/f's mum wakes up and decides to watch a bit of teev. Cherry gone but agonising 2 hour wait sans nickers and trackies under the rug waiting for the bitch to piss off back to bed.

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I had seen 17 summers and wriggled out my bedroom window, walking five or six kilometres at night to her aunt's house just to hang out — her aunt was a nurse who worked night shifts — but she had a friend staying there, who looked like Chan Marshall and was infinitely more angst-ridden, and who it seems (according to one whom I never especially trusted about anything) made promiscuous overtures to my girl, from which she in an uncharacteristic moment of reticence fled, into my sleeping bag in the lounge room.

Yeah I can never take a hint when it's time to leave, and this was not the last time I would narrowly fail to exploit the potential for a menage a trois.

It was squalid, short-lived and wholly unsatisfactory and she later claimed it resulted in the germ of a human being that was miscarried in the midday heat of a hotel somewhere in India.

Oddly, it is one of few events that I have never treated as an augury, good- or ill-omened.

I'm so feeling the kilbot love right now. I'm impressed by the natural progression, "No chicks? We should totally fuck..."

Also your use of light and texture is incredible. Very life like.

Spa Parties tend to have that effect on people. Booky? Are you reading this? I've got a two person spaaa booked....

*splashes water playfully*

Age: 17
With: Miss Scarlet, in the library, with the rope.
Defining characteristics: I really had no clue what I was doing.

Right on, Omar Sherriff!*

And as far as I'm concerned, shouldn't every story end with a footnote of "I bleed from my anus for a couple of days."?

*I'm an idiot. You love it.

Almost 16 with my first ever boyfriend a 23 year old hippie. The event itself was not that memorable but what I clearly recall, is how genuinely surprised I was that I was expected to do IT again!

18
With first real girl friend (we were both virgins). Memorable for its duration, some two hours or so. Nothing embarrasing happened, although figuring how to take the condom out of its wrapper with one hand was tricky.

First time: I was 18, a first year uni student at the Medley Hall Ball. I was quite naive and truly innocent - this was my first intimate contact of any kind with anyone other than myself. I hadn't really had even a vague hint of a relationship up until then. And as far as I knew, hadn't even had a woman who was even vaguely interested in me since grade 2, when a really cute Maltese girl used to chase me all around the playground laying surprise kisses on me day after day. At the ball was a dark haired girl, dressed as Humphrey Bogart - I'd just dressed as myself. She was probably 2 or 3 years older than me. She looked hot in her suit, hat and white tie, her round face and large mouth with very red lipstick and from the first moment we were accidentally squeezed against each other in this crowded space we spent most of the rest of the night dry rooting each other with no thought for the couple of hundred potential on-lookers. The mutual body mauling was only interrupted by trips to the bar. We got plastered. We couldn't talk really because it was too noisy, besides our senses were otherwise fully occupied. She quite clearly liked the feel of my hard cock against her, and used her hand, thighs, everything to make sure I was constantly at full extension. At one point she actually came while we were propped against one of the more trafficked doorways. I'll never forget the low moan, her eyes fluttering back into her head or the body shudder that I managed to contain by wrapping her up and squeezing her hard with both arms, while only losing a few splashes of my beer. Immediately after she rummaged me upstairs, getting through to the dormitory rooms somehow, and we went from door to door until we found one open and unoccupied. She took off her pinstripe pants, unzipped me and straddled me on the floor next to some guy's made bed. She fucked me crazy - I literally did nothing, except lie there and come several times - remaining rock hard throughout (Yes, I was young and eminently resilient in those days). After what must have been an hour of fucking she came, grabbing a handful of the nearby bed covers to stuff in her mouth, and stifle the sound, while almost crushing my ribs with all her bucking weight on her other hand. She kept her hat on the whole time. My head was reeling from the booze and the experience. After a while she kissed me - her tongue was like Rio-Tinto exploiting some third world mineral resource (and I loved it) - until I had to break off for breath. Eventually we went back down. The party was still in full swing. She said she'd have to find the friends she came with. She pushed through the crowd, and I saw her talking to a group of people in another room. I met up with the guys I'd come with and we kept drinking too. My head kept getting more hyped, and as the night progressed we kept exchanging distant knowing glances across the crowd. Eventually, the crowd thinned, but I couldn't see her anymore. I never saw her again. I never found out her name. Throughout the night I'd only ever called her "Humphrey".

2nd time: About six months later, another party, this time at some friends place in Fitzroy. I spied this cute blonde chick who had come with the best friend of the friend who invited me. She was dancing, and her man was too, but he was a dud dancer. I danced in her extended group, beer in hand all night. We exchanged alcohol and drug-fuelled glances all night. The crowd had thinned and it was about 3 AM, that "I don't love you, you don't love me. Ah-ha! Da, Da, Da." was being played on constant rotation and she started dancing WITH me. Eventually after some purposeful "incidental" mutual body contact, I decided that the glare from the boyfriend was becoming too much, so I broke off to go to the laundry for a beer. Half a minute later she was there too, and she basically eased herself up on the laundry trough and mounted me. I guess I did a bit of thrusting, but basically she was in total control - in less than 2 minutes with a screech she came and had gone, leaving me rock hard with balls full of cum, and in total confusion. I drank a lot, very quickly. I had another joint. I decided I'd leave it a decent length of time and then ask my mate for her name and details. I never did, but I'm in love with that girl at-that-moment to this day, anytime I remember that song.

3rd time: I was 24, probably still looked 17 with my curls, with the sexual maturity of a 12 yo and hadn't had even a hint of intimate contact much less a relationship since 1 & 2. I was pathetically amateurish in my attempts to initiate anything and unbearably shy. I kept expecting some chick would take a liking to me at a party or a pub and fuck me on the floor in a back room, and we'd get married and have kids. In desperation and in Perth, I visited a prostitute, thinking this would sort me out. I wore my best wrap-around sunglasses on a dreary overcast day. It was 6o bucks for a blow job, 75 for sex and 90 for the combo. The combo sounded a good deal: I'd never had a blow job and I'd still get to screw her from on top. She had a cute kiwi accent, and during our half hour she talked more about sex with me than anyone ever had before. When it came to it, she gave me a sensational blow job, and even though I gave her plenty of notice that I was ready to explode, she sucked me dry and swallowed. She smiled at me looking like the cat who had got the creme. I asked if we could also now do the rumpy-pumpy - but she smiled and said I should go home and find some nice girl to give my cherry to. She had thought I was a virgin, and I realised she was right.

Holy shit Fits, what a thread!

"her tongue was like Rio-Tinto exploiting some third world mineral resource" wouldn't be found anywhere else.

This entire thread should be published in hardback...

I was 19. I met this older girl and we talked for hours. We were flirting and the topic of sex came up and it was revealed that I was a virgin.

We started talking about my first time, and soon arranged for me to go to her place. So the weekend came and off I went. I didn't know what to expect, but I was very excited, and very shy.

I arrived and sat down in her place. We played a game, chatted, watched Red Dwarf for a while, then went for a walk. We started kissing, then went home holding hands. We watched Lettermen and kissed more, then went to the bedroom.

I got into bed WITH MY PANTS ON! I was that nervous. She told me to get rid of them, and I did. I don't remember how it happened but I remember I went down on her, and made a clumsy mess.

She went down on me but she couldn't really do anything with my size. We decided to take my virginity. On went a condom but it broke. She had only regular sized ones. We did it without the condom (tsk!).

Afterwards, I slept over, but couldn't get to sleep. I was up all night. It was the first time I had slept in a bed with a girl.

The next morning as she awoke to my tired face, her ex-b/f came around to get some things (they had just broken up) and I lay in the bed naked and transfixed with fear of him coming in here.

I went home some time after. We had several more of this type of meeting.

TRACKBACK:
Alpha Female Bloggers up the AnteTracing the spiral of personal and threshold pushing posts on the Oz polisex blogosphere.

(Sorry, but trackbacking on blogger is long overdue)

age: 24 (so sad)
time: April 1 (also good friday)
with: friend who was lesbian/bi
need i say more, the date should give a clue

Well, this is fucking typical. I take a few days off blogging and miss all the fun. *sulks*

Not to be deterred, however:

18, in Paris, and in love. Are you jealous? On the down side, the actual act was kind of boring itself.

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16. He was 18. Both first-timers.
I said, in cute school uniform: 'Let's do something different..'
'Like what? Go for coffee?'
'No...'
'Oh'
Cue the awkward undressing of brown tartan and the failure to choose a more appropriate sound-track than Mr Bungle's 'Disco Volante'.
No blood. A little bit of discomfort. In retrospect, I was so not turned on and didn't realise what real rumpy-pumpy was until recent boyfriends. I think I may have checked my watch a few times...

13. She was the next door neighbour, 16, who looked after me before my parents got home from work. She came out of the shower naked and I didn't have a fucking clue what I was doing. But I got better at it over the next 12 months.

Bumped into her at Darling Harbour a couple of years back, which was strange as we were living in England at the time of the deed. I had no idea she was in Australia.

.."the failure to choose a more appropriate sound-track than Mr Bungle's 'Disco Volante'"..

How could there be a more appropriate soundtrack?

18 yo. Just moved into campus at Uni, knew noone in the city, consumed lots of alcohol, kissed lots of boys, would have slept with any of them I think. It was time (or something like that).

15

boyfriend of some months

term three year nine study day - he went to a boys school and wagged. he came over in his school uniform. he had a beer from the fridge.

i actually had my period, but that little detail wasn't going to get in my way for the big event. he didn't think i'd bleed *that* much... i didn't tell him.

it in no way compared to our previous explorations up to that point. in comparison to getting fingered in the taxi on the way home from his 16th birthday, it was pretty dull and over quickly.

we went and stood in the backyard and couldn't really think of anything to say. he went home early enough for me to actually do some study.

as for my girl-virginity, that wasn't until much later. unless you count that incident with one of my friends when we were lying on a towel on the driveway up the side of the house when we were about 9.

Sydney late 70's:
young - 10 or so. played you show me yours and doctors with the slightly older girl next door. We used to watch each other pee, poke fingers in each others bottoms and all that stuff under our house (house was on stilts half overhanging a cliff in the bush). We tried lots of times and one time or another we must have sorted it out. So I don't remember actually loosing it, it just kind of faded away. We played with each other for years, at least till the middle of high school when we started to get real dates and partners. At some point I noticed that she was hot, way hotter than any girlfriend I was likly to ever have. By the time we got to high school and everybody was all worked up about it I couldn't see what all the fuss was about - you know if you liked sombody you just fucked them - was fun.
Married now with kids, debt and no time at home for 'it'. Toss off in the shower picturing her in my head - you could see into her bedroom from mine - I've the image of her nude, reclined, dildoing herself burnt into my mind.
Nuf Sed

Geez, I missed this one? Crap. ahwell, here goes...

Age: 19

Who: Guy I met at a new years eve party

Defining characteristics: his mother alseep upastairs, us on the futon in the lounge downstairs. Only real thing I remember is thinking, 'Oh my god, i'm giving someone a blowjob" gawd. I remember blowing then rolling over to fall asleep, i guess thats the beauty of being a man that sleeps with guys!

early 40's and a virgin. When I was a teenager I could not think of anything else but sex. But I was fat and incessantly berated by my father for being so and taunted by my peers at school as well. And being from a boy's school and also being a relatively recent migrant girls could have being from another planet.

I hated school and went to uni. I went to the gym and ran and was able to run the Sydney to surf races comfortably and looked really good. I hoped this would help me to get laid but as time went on I was aware that being 'inexperienced' would be a potential millstone around my neck because by that stage all the women I found attractive would have had sexual relations and I felt afraid . Went to parties, socialised but connecting sexually to a woman was an absolutely a mystery to me despite wanting it desperately.

By the time I got to my 30's I sort of gave up. Also I found that as I approached my 40's the desire wanes and it doesn't become the big thing that it was 20 years ago.

Also unlike young people my peers are in stable relationships and there is less emphasis on sex but more on things such as mortgages and other stuff I can relate to.

So I am resigned dying a virgin. I could have faced worse fates.

Age: 22
Current Girlfriend
Situation:
Away on business staying in a motel. Girlfriend wanted to visit. Stayed with me and we played on that big queen sized bed in the motel.

Age: 18
With the woman that became my girlfriend (but it no longer)
Situation: In my parents bed after a fair few magic mushrooms and a fair whack of the 18,000 ltr tank of medical grade nitrous oxide I'd stolen from a nursing home the night before.

Oh to be 18 again.

hey but cheer up guys - find the right person and your next time will be great :)

age: 16, month before my 17th - him 17 didnt like him at all but gave in to emotional distress (didnt show him that though)

i asked if he was okay and "yeah i am i just fucked a virgin!"

what you call a fucked up bastard...

Wow, thoroughly enjoyed reading all these.

I was 16, she was 18. First real GF, met at church camp, irony! First time was in my friends loft above the garage, almost like a clubhouse. She let me do whatever I wanted. Started with me undressing her, lots of kissing, she gave me oral, I returned the favor. Started standing up, against the wall, moved to bed where she was on top. At one point she said I was hurting her, I asked if I should stop, and she said no. Thats great for a 16 yr olds ego. We had sex for about an hour or so, many different poistions. It was wonderful.

Since then I have had the pleasure of helping two virgins, they were both GFs at the time.

To this day she was THE wettest girl I have ever had sex with. I mean she would get CRAZY wet. Stain the sheets wet, wipe your hand off wet. It was crazy.