Ugly Children - part one in a series.
I have seen some beautiful babies recently. I even made what could possibly be construed as the wrongest comment ever when I told a two year old's mother to 'give him my number'. I may have also winked. Dude, he was wearing a silk Japanese pyjama-suit. You would've done the same thing.
It's always secretly heartening when celebrities have ugly children. They're always going on about how they're 'just like us' and when they squeeze something out that resembles a scrotum with painted-on eyes, it's somehow pleasing.
Or maybe that's just me having a vindictive Tuesday. Whatevs.
Here is the first in my series of ugly children*.
Jamie: 'When I grow up, I want to be just like you! Except, you know, with your fucking rough head and all!'
Kerry: 'Too late!'
Jamie: 'Dough!'
What the fuck is up with James Packer's head? I know he's had plenty of hot girlfriends, which totally proves the old adage about money, power, aphrodisiac etcetera. Seriously, though. Look again:
The guy's got a face like a bulldog doing a piss on a thistle. I am drying up just looking at him.
Also:
Donald Jr: 'Dad, check it out! Despite my repulsively piggish face and smarmy 'lick my grits, bitch' expression, I managed to score a totally hot lady like yours!'
Donald Sr: 'You're fired. From living.'
988 days til the next election.
*You know what, I was going to do a post here about Jordan's son being a tad on the unattractive side but thought you'd all beat on me because he's blind and has diabetes. Still, there's something about this picture with mummy foxing it up in the b/g that gets to me.
He's totally not like that because of her being a coke whore during pregnancy, though. No way.
Comments
Fits, Jordan's boy looks like that not because she was a crack ho while baking the bub, but because some plastic surgeons are somewhat ethical and won't crank up the plastic surgery in earnest until the patient is about 5 years old. After that, open season.
Incidentally, Jordan & her man were very surprised to find out that their own forays under the knife didn't alter their intrinsically unattractive gene pool.
-weez
Thank god for pelvic floor excercises. If not for them, I would've peed all over myself while reading the Trump pic's caption. Gold, golden gold.
You totally stole that first-trimester coke habit equals blind babies schtick from me! Shocked, appalled and flattered.
Funny you should mention children. I wrote on my blog about how you net-stalked me last week and Kranki commented that he thought we would have beautiful babies together.
Only one way to find out (you minx).
Peter Andre looks like a ummm, dad!
ahem.
pardon me ms fits, but will you please refrain from making me jiggle with giggles at my computer while my workmates put a tick in the 'she's crazy' box.
that is all.
http://members.aol.com/gotaro2/homepage/newts.JPG
An honourable mention, at least.
But all children still have that strange Winston Churchil thing going on, really, no matter how adorable.
But tell me, did Jordan have the old box and dice tightened up after squeezing out the sprog? Cause I'm not sure Pete's the kinda chap to tolerate throwing a sausage down the Harbour tunnel if you ask me.
Dr Nic
Oh hoh, I love this topic. I see so many ugly babies all the time at work, and no one else ever finds it as funny as I do.
Did you see the original Scully baby on neighbours? I know it's not technically a baby of a celebrity, rather a pseudo-celebrity of its own accord, but still. No wonder Lynn had post-natal depression. It looked like Mr Potato Head.
Oh my god!............ what a horrible, ugly, little, spawn of satan!
I meant Peter, not the kid!!
Buttman
I have a theory that the Packers have been trying to breed the ugly out by reproducing with hot women. From the few photos I've seen Kerry's wife is a rather handsome lady, and of course Jamie has his little heart set on a model or similar. Jamie's not as ugly as Kerry and Kerry - though I know it's hard to believe - isn't as ugly as his dad, Sir Frank.
So in ten or so more generations, if they can keep it up, the Packer clan might manage to reach "plain" level?
I don't know that there's a sufficient supply of incredibly hot women prepared to sleep with Packer men in order for that miracle to occur.
Murdoch did ok though I must admit- I don't quite know why the ladies are so hot for "lockie" but I can see that he's a 400% improvement on basset-hound lookalike daddie.
The bassett hound bred again, with a very cute adding machine. Notice the weird pin in the handless Jordan sprog's leg. They did him up in a suit which wont fit until he has grown into the adult shape the surgeons have warned them to accept.
Ah, the bells, the bells...
- dt
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