Ugly Children - part three in a series.
Hoy hoy, fellow malcontents. I have been quite the social whore of late, flitting from bayside weddings featuring Daryl Braithwaite as reception crooner of choice (his 'River Deep, Mountain High' was quite the dancefloor filler), to five-course holiday house lunches, to lazy coastal op-shop tours. So do please forgive my somewhat erratic posting.The lovely Jellyfish has not only made a request for a post series, but also sent me some pictures to give me a boot in the right direction. This of course means that she is joining me on my journey to the dark side, and if you're going to start torching houses do hers first.
Parts one and two are archived for your procrastinatory pleasure.
Oh, man. Can you think of anything worse than having some fuck-knuckle movie producer do a job on you and fill you with virile semen only to rack off and leave you with the spawn of Satan who happens to be an identical copy of his father?
I would totally feel sorry for Liz Hurley if she didn't overwear those white camel-toe pants and openly vomit on fat people when they try to talk to her.
World: 'Awww, little Frances Bean looks so much like her father. Her countenance may be somewhat plain, but her haunted eyes take us back to a blisteringly poignant period in emotional rock n roll.'
Courtney: 'I wonder if I can swap her on ebay for crack.'
Why Heidi Klum is looking so very pleased with herself holding a sultana is beyond me.
Oh wait, I think it's trying to tell us something...
'....take...me....to....your....leader....humanoid...'
674 days til the next election.
Comments
Don't forget that the Bing/Hurley boy is fuckin immense. He's like 5ft tall already.
You didn't mention Jordan's ugger of a baby who is blind...there an modern day Aesop fable if I ever heard one.
You need a pic of the Hewitt kiddy.
*snort*
sultana
mehehehe
oh, and i heard on kmart radio today that the hewitt kid is called mia rebecca
Jordan's baby is covered in part two. You'll notice my conscience prevented me from blogging him for a total of about three and a half minutes.
Also, I think I'd need to hand Bec and Lleyton at least a couple of mill and considerable column inches before posting an official pic of their sweetie pie. Fucking abhorrent media whores.
I think Frances Bean is cute...her mother's the dog.
Lou
i reckon it is scary how much frances bean looks like kurt
Best. Series. Ever.
Nothing I love more than ragging on people's weddings and ugly children. Jordan therefore is my absolute favourite celebrity
Yeah, what's worse is having a POOR fuck-knuckle do a job on you etc etc. At least Steve's a friggin zillionaire.
oh hello
ms is back.
good.
x
Hurrah! Thanks, La Fits.
I know I am going to get in serious Karmic trouble for aiding and abetting this post series. I feel genuine anxiety that when I pop/purchase my own sproglet, I will repaid by the gods in the form of a munchkin that has been well and truly beaten with the proverbial ugly stick.
Ah well.
*buys a puppy*
*takes off wrestling gear*
Who knew I could ever be so cheered by ugly babys?
It was the sultana that did it.
Thanks.
ERGHHHH
Kill seals baby eeeeegh. its hideous. Smother it with a cushion immediately.
How did that pocked marked crooner bed HER? Hope for acne riddled 14 yr olds everywhere.
Bing's baby looks like he knows whats going on...MAN-CHILD.
Also DARRYL? Did he play Horses? tell me he played horses. ok i'm going to pretend he played horses. He played horses, yes he did.
"that's the way it's gonna be, little darling, we'll be riding on the horses, yeah, yeah"
Great video clip.
Don't worry, Jellyfish, like all deluded, hormone-soaked parents, you will think your sprog is angelically beautiful, even if other people are shrieking in horror and putting their hands over their own children's eyes to protect them from the potentially scarring sight of your child.
Surely it is "Heidi's Baby" or perhaps the lack of apostrophe explains everything...
I think you forgot this part-alien child
Actually, Frances doesn't look so bad these days:
http://www.masslive.com/images/weblogs/soundcheck/052605potd.jpg
You're taking requests?
doanotherwrongcrushes!
doanotherwrongcrushes!
*calms*
*awaits*
Slightly off the subject but do all plastic surgery addicts end up looking like the 'Cat Lady' Jocelyn Wildenstein. Courtney Love definitely has more than a passing resemblance to Ms Cat. She looks like she is three face lifts, two collagen lip injections and five botox treatments away from being her twin.
http://www.awfulplasticsurgery.com/archives/000351.html
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So, that's what someone looks like after going fifteen rounds with Heidi Klum's vagina?
*purges wank bank*
What is funnier is when Steven Bing wanted a PATERNITY test..gahd anyone with eyes can see it was his kid.
Another celebrity baby I don't "get" why people think it is cute. Apple Paltrow. Sorry, not feeling the cuteness. Then again I am not a Paltrow/Martin fan on their looks.
Have you seen Uma and Ethan's boy?
Comments are closed.