Reasons you will hate me

Ohmigod, 'sandiegoserenade'is just a bit too, well, grey and stuff.

And speaking of making the blinded see, I quite liked the Pope Bono pic that also magically Google shazzams when searching as instructed. Maybe he's been getting stuck into Ben's (XVI) wine and crackers stash?

I believe that you always have more fun and learn many interesting new things if you do all your Google searches with safesearch switched off...

What's safesearch?

Daniel Johns has certainly taken drugs. He hangs out with Paul Mac for gods sake.

Won't use safesearch on principle: I want to see it all! Johns just let slip what should be okay to admit. Every dickhead from here to Reykjavik can make cute boasts about excessive drinking, but as soon as you start talking spliffs, you're evil. Not inhaling should be the blanket defence anyway.

Bono, "COMPLETE PIOUS WANKSTAIN". Yep, I had been wondering.

Confirmed, Bushman. Feel free to go about your day with a sense of relief.

OUR FRIENDSHIP IS CANCELLED.

You meet dream boy. He's funny, smart, has nice floppy dark hair and is taller than you. You think he could be the one, so you wait a little bit to touch him up naked. When you do, you discover he has a giant tattoo of Bono's face on his back.

Do you make polite excuses and leave, or do it out of embarrassment then ignore all future texts and facebook messages?

OMG AUDREY HAS THIS HAPPENED TO YOU TELL US EVERYTHING.






p.s. Elmo - I'm sincerely sorry. x

What sort of sick impulse compelled me to actually go and look for that picture of the old men sucking each other off ? I knew that I really really did not want to see it, but I was powerless to resist. I think it's a bit like sticking up a sign over a hole saying 'Don't look in here' - you are immediately compelled to go and look.

BMS, I had to go see as well. Didn't necessarily need to see that, but I did. So glad my grampa's not in an old folks home, surrounded by such devilish sex fiends.

Btw, if disturbing images are your thing, check out ftw.generation.no Cute stuff, odd stuff, funny stuff, and just plain wrong wrong wrong stuff.

Boy, three whole wrongs. What kind of sick person would go check out a website like that?




*surreptitiously visits*

You run, Audrey. You don't stop to be polite. You change your phone number/s, all your addresses, and, quite possibly, your name.

God, imagine having to get high with Bono at his request, listening to unfinished silverchair songs. Can't think of anything worse.

Well, actually, there was that time at Nicole and Keith's place, in the hottub with Howard's cabinet, doing ice and listening to Seekers reunion demos..

Shit times.

verif: ikyls - I so funny ikyls me

i only met you yesterday - via ampersand duck and i'd just like to say thank you for being you. i'd like to suggest the 'don't fuck it up' photo go into production as a t shirt. i'd buy one.

This looks like you (ie hot)

I can't say it looks especially like Fits except for the pigtails, but I do like the 'Here's my vadge' pose

Oh heavens no. I'm far too busy making up ridiculous hypothetical questions to touch naked boys with floppy hair.


SIGH.

It would be just my luck though.


REPEAT SIGH.

http://www.theage.com.au/articles/2007/07/09/1183833431746.html

What a headline.

Well I suppose technically Daniel Johns never said he didn't do drugs: just that he didn't do them with Bono and Peter Garrett.*

It's a nice way to sabotage Labor: with skills like that, Dan should join a union.

* what? Taking it seriously? No, I'm not. Here, look at this squid.

you're presented with a photograph of three old men having group sex and sucking each other off


Can't belive you've never heard of The Lemon Party before, fitz. Next you'll be telling us you don't know what and who tubgirl and the goatse guy is.

Ersatz

Yup. Potshots at Bono eh? *YAWNS* Well, it's been good...

Elmo, your tragic and persistent devotion to Bono has the air of a salmon trying to leap upstream. With no legs.

yes, I've been amused by the sound and fury. But anything that causes Daniel Johns to backtrack like a frightened puppy makes me laugh.

PS: Sorry Elmo, Bono is kinda pius these days...

*sulks*

I can't see the naked old fellators pic except as a teensy thumbnail. Every time I try I get the message:

Error 403 - Forbidden

You tried to access a document for which you don't have privileges.

*tanty*

BUT I WANNA! Momentarily, anyway. I'll have another whim in a moment and want to look at something else, no doubt. Fickle, moi?

PS - I once sat and watched an exceptionally maggotted Daniel Johns throw up on a brown couch at the Builders Arms. Infinitely more entertaining than listening to a Silverchair album, that's for sure.

Where can I get one of these salmon with legs?! I'm having dinner with Bono on thursday, that would be perfect.

Why does elmo from sydlee QC use such infantile language?

Are sydlee private schoolgirls even more hopeless than melbourne ones? Is this in fact possible?

Does elmo from sydlee QC write for Australian commercial TV?

Does elmo from sydlee QC come from a nice, leafy eastern suburb in which her mother drank a litre of vodka a day while her daddy worked eighty hour weeks stealing other peoples money?

Is foetal alcohol syndrome elmo from sydlee QC's problem, or do obstetrical forceps have a lot more to answer for than previously suspected?

to wit: why normal people turn into fuckwits on the internet. "normal" is of course, used loosely here.

Ah Ha! that is the problem! Her klepomaniacal daddy is a shitcock and a fuckwad! Just imagine what he was like BEFORE the liver transplant!

Have a pot and twenty Ritilan.

whoo-hoo!

Mikeed1313 is back from rehab!

champagne all round, my shout.

when it comes to Bono, it's us plebs who need the drugs (preferably psychoactive).