What is happening here*?
*Where Ms Fits translates what's going on 'Behind the Music'. Because she is sweet as pie.
WIHH #1 - HOUSE OF FUN/MADNESS
Good morning miss
Can I help you son?
Sixteen today
And up for fun
I’m a big boy now
Or so they say
So if you’ll serve
I’ll be on my way.
WIHH?
The boy has arrived in a shop. It is the boy's birthday, and of this fact he informs the kindly shopkeeper. The boy is being a little pushy as he is impatient to get on.
Box of balloons
With the feather-light touch
Pack of party-poppers
That pop in the night
WIHH?
The boy has ordered some 'lite' balloons as they are easier to carry. He is then requesting faulty party poppers that may explode at any moment. HE IS LIVING DANGEROUSLY.
A toothbrush and hairspray
Plastic grin
Miss Clay on all corners
Has just walked in
WIHH?
The boy is going to brush his teeth with hairspray instead of toothpaste in order to give himself a 'plastic grin'. A woman covered in mud has crawled into the shop on all fours ('corners') and no-one knows where to look as it is quite awkward.
Welcome to the house of fun
Now I’ve come of age
Welcome to the house of fun
Welcome to the lion’s den
Temptation’s on his way
Welcome to the house of -
WIHH?
Everyone in the shop has joined a rousing birthday chorus. The boy's friend, Brian Temptation, will soon be there to purchase an extension lead. He needs it for his sister.
This news is so thrilling that everyone forgets to sing the last word of the chorus, which is, incidentally, 'fun'.
N-n-n-n-n-n-no no miss
You misunderstood
Sixteen big boy
Full pint in my manhood
WIHH?
The boy is suffering amphetamine psychosis. He is addressing the shopkeeper as though she has said something to him, which she clearly hasn't. He is also defensive and has an out-of-control ego. These are warning signs of drug abuse.
I’m up to date
And the date’s today
So if you’ll serve
I’ll be on my way
Welcome to the house of fun
Now I’ve come of age
Welcome to the lion’s den
Temptation’s on his way
Welcome to the house of -
WIHH?
Everyone in the shop has joined a rousing birthday chorus. The boy's friend, Brian Temptation, will soon be there to purchase an extension lead. He needs it for his sister.
This news is so thrilling that everyone forgets to sing the last word of the chorus, which is, incidentally, 'fun'.
I’m sorry son
But we don’t stock
Party gimmicks
In this shop
Try the house of fun
It’s quicker if you run
This is a chemist’s
Not a joke shop!
WIHH?
Hilarity abounds as the boy discovers he has come to the wrong 'mart'. The kindly shopkeeper points him in the direction of another 'mart', and in doing so also explains the laws of physics.
Party hats
Simple enough clear
Comprehende savvy understand
Do you hear?
WIHH?
The boy is being racist and speaking to the shopkeeper as though English is her second language.
A pack of party hats
With the coloured tips
Too late!
Gorgon heard gossip
WIHH?
The boy is insisting on child-like party accoutrements even though he has clearly stated upon his arrival in the shop that he is a 'big boy'. He then checks his watch and realises he is too late to stop his friend Gordon hearing the rumour that he (Gordon) likes to touch girl's bottoms. In his excitement, he mispronounces Gordon's name.
Well hello Joe
Hello Miss Clay
Many happy returns from the day
WIHH?
Miss Clay has looked up from her shopping (she is buying inner soles and some food for her three cats) and noticed the birthday boy. She then wishes him 'happy returns'. It is pleasant.
Welcome to the house of fun
Now I’ve come of age
Welcome to the lion’s den
Temptation’s on his way
Welcome to the house of fun
WIHH?
Brian 'Tempto' Temptation has still not arrived, but everyone sings regardless as it is the boy's birthday and they wish for him to have a good time. They also remember to sing the final word - a triumphant finish I think you'll agree!
797 days til the next election.
Comments
This had me near tears! Near tears, I tell ya! :)
Great stuff. But it leaves me wanting. Did Brian 'Tempto' Temptation ever turn up? Did the boy apologise for belittling the kindly shopkeeper? Did he ever make his way to the joke shop and buy the party poppers he so desperately desired?
I never understood the song before as well as I do now. Well done, Ms Fits. Yet again, you have done us all an incredible service.
BEVIS
Comedy gold!
this is madness.
comedy of that tone will leave me ska'd for life.
don't let it bovver you dirty. you can beat it. at least survive until you be forty
I am left wondering whether anyone actually knows the real meaning of this song. Frankly, the desire to explain it is killing me now. KILLING ME.
I could be wrong but I thought the somg was about a boy who had 'come of age' (16, 17 or 18) and was going to the local chemist to buy his first packet of condoms??? That is what it means isn't it?
Please, Ms Fits, can you explain what Venus in Furs is about? It starts with a girl who hurts her neck (whiplash) in a car accident at night which is somehow caused by her shiny leather boots, but I can't work out the rest of the song. It mentions "strikes" and "whips" so I'm thinking industrial relations and parliamentary business.
Obviously he's turned 16 and has rocked up to the chemist in order to buy a truckload of rubbers and a river of amyl nitrate. Makes perfect sense to me.
mnkymelbourne is right...there nothing like being 16 with a pack of 3 and a bottle of amyl..
I just knew someone would step in and make everything right again.
PS: Shakira!
um dirty
no one picked up on it
it's your turn
Why am I up at 5am?
Thank you. Thank you for finally making it clear.
And now I'll be humming it all day. Thanks.
That's.
Fucking.
Gold!
though re russell's "there nothing like being 16 with a pack of 3 and a bottle of amyl.."
does that mean or imply (or am I just fucked in the head) that Brian 'Tempto' Temptation is actually a forty-seven year old man with a beer gut and a combover, on the way for a quick bit of kiddie-philandering?
Just wondering.
This is a great site. If we ever get to stop writing the waiting4doyle@blogspot.com blog, we will start something like this.
The piss take on the Young Libs was great.
W4D
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Young Lady. I'm tagging you. Which means you have to do the Ten turn ons and offs as a blog.
At least this way I will get some interaction with you on this elite blog world of yours.
COME ON!!!
I always thought the lyrics went "This is a chemist...not a junkie shop!"
You're mad - that's brilliant! ;) awesome
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