When non-violent resistance just isn't getting your point across.
Bah! Stupid policeman/capitalists/'the Man'(TM). All this linking arms and singing 'Imagine' seems to be doing nothing to get your Right On point across. The drumming circle can barely be heard over the passing traffic, and don't even get you started on Amanda and Damien's papier-mache Tony Blair efforts (why the fuck has half of his forehead caved in? Are they trying to make some kind of point about his kowtowing to Bush over Iraq?).
You need to shake this fucker up fast. WHAT SHOULD YOU DO:
1. Get your gear off ala PETA activists and flash your vadge at passing media. Then pretend it's sort of a statement against 'Bush'. Yes.
2. Set yourself on fire. NB: May cause pain.
3. Start randomly punching people on your 'side'. This will confuse authorities. Heh. Stupid lemmings.
4. HEADBUTT A MOTHERFUCKING POLICE HORSE.
According to the SMH:
'A woman headbutted a police horse during a football day at Redfern, a court heard yesterday. Margaret Blair, 50, was charged with aggravated cruelty upon an animal after she allegedly smashed her head into the police horse at about 4:20pm on Saturday. It is alleged the horse reared up on his hind legs and the police mount nearly fell off.'
Who the fuck goes around headbutting police horses? At fifty? AND COMES OUT ON TOP???
735 days til the next election.
Comments
That's one tough old chick. Horses have pretty hard heads. There's a lot of skull around a brain the size of a walnut.
I can't imagine that a police horse would actually rear up from being head butted. She must have pulled the reins hard. Unless she stood front on the the horse, gripped the reins on either side of the horse's bit and, like a basketballer grabbing the hoop for a slam dunk, she pulled the horse's head down with the reins while she jumped up. I hope her forehead really hurts. The horse would have been okay; the part between a horse's eyes is veeerrrrry hard.
Poor horse. Why head butt the horse? It didn't ask to be there. It was just doing its job, walking calmly among the crowds, trained not to mind the shouting, beeping, waving all around it.
That woman, like most lefties I know, sounds like an utter disgrace.
You have clearly given this a deal of thought, anon. Particularly about the disgraceful lefties bit.
*spits on John Butler*
*wipes face*
You again!
*inserts amusing On The Buses-style 'I'll get you Butler' fist-shaking*
*strums sitar*
*looks passive*
*smokes breakfast bong*
This is a very dubious story, have you ever been headbutted by a horse? I have, and it fucking hurts. a horses skull is hard as a rock.
I'm not sure if I would trust the police or the SMH on this one, might be one for Media Watch.
PS Anon, police often use horses aggressively against protestors...they are still animals, and they do sometimes shy and get freaked out no matter how much they are 'trained to walk calmly among the crowds' .
II you've ever been cornered by a rearing, terrified police horse you might have a bit more sympathy for us disgraceful lefties.
Could it be, that this crazy woman in fact head butted the horses side, or something? Surely if she head-butted the horse in the head she would have needed stitches.
The horse should have trampled her for being an idiot.
the only viable option,
that i can see so far,
is to proceed growing a large bush in order to show it to passing suits at friday lunch on parliament steps.
see you then?
I bet you leave me high and dry, problematic. Standing there with vadge out, desperately waiting for a friendly face.
STORY OF MY LIFE.
A fifty year old woman headbutts a police horse. Let's execute her.
A trio of 50 and 60 year old men start a war resulting in the deaths of tens of thousands of people, because of non-existant weapons of mass destruction? Let's re-elect them.
It's the Right thing to do.
and what a great PG movie that story will make some day, fits.
*meets with film producers*
as in the story of your life.
not the story of the horse-butting crazy lady.
although that could work too.
I can hear it now...
She was a girl, all alone, struggling in a world of men in suits and horses with heads, until one day she discovered a secret weapon that would blow them all away. Now she must face her destiny and reveal it to the world. Coming soon to a cinema near you... Vadge of Honour
(Contains horse language and adult memes)
Ok, that's at least two people out there who've, for kicks or some other perfectly valid reason, posssibly even vaguely political (wtf?) have decided to give the horse a good ol' headbutt. The next thing you know, horse headbutting will be an Olympic sport.
Rumour has it that the woman's husband had actually been cheating on her with the horse. Crime of passion.
Apparently the headbutt was an after thought. Pulling the horse's hair was the mane objective.
do you think kate bush would appreciate our efforts ms fits?
if we are alone on the parliamentary steps together, vadge out?
THANK YOU TEX - with Spring racing carnival almost upon us its high time we got on with some equine punnery. I personally have been champing at the bit to saddle you all with some horse related word play.
I think anyone would appreciate the efforts of two blogger girls flashing their hoo-hoos to a rousing chorus of Wuthering Heights, wouldn't they?
What a great time to walk in...
That head-butting lady should saddle-up for a heavy trot in court, someone should reign her in. Cant(h)er fellow lefties check her. Fur(how)long must we read mare - I mean more - of this stuff, it is pure geld - I mean gold - though. It seems to me that lady just wants to stirrup trouble.
In memory and tribute to Ronnie Barker
mnkymelbourne, I salute you. Particularly DEDICATING A COMMENT TO A DECEASED COMEDIAN.
Geneighous.
I am tempted to re-work my favourite ever joke:
Horse walks into a bar. Bartender looks at him and says "Why the long face?"
Horse replies "I've just been headbutted by an old lady".
Okay, that doesn't really work.
Yubris gets my vote for freakin' funniest comment!
Horses are as weak as piss. A good sharp blow to the snout will have 'em jumping like a one of those crap dancing stallions. (It would be good to watch with a copper on its back. I'd pay good money to see that, some horse going nuts with Constable No-Neck holding on for the ride. Poor cunt, nearly got hurt. He should nearly get compo.)
Aim low, only a maddie would aim for the forehead. Too high anyway, and NSW police horses usually wear helmets. Dead set.
I know this because my missus has horses and the bastards attack me all the time when I'm out wandering in the paddocks, minding my own business. Star jumps fuck them too for some reason. Go up to a horse and do star jumps some time. The fuckers are insane, I swear.
They've just been drinking too much ek-wine. Huh? Huh? Yeah, sorry. Big Ronnie will be rolling in his freezer draw.
Hey homies, skanks and slutty, slutty boogaloos,
What is good at the Fringe Festival? I need to entertain some young ladies on Satdee night.
Thanks.
Why are you always entertaining ladies plural, Adam? Is one not enough? And do you always take them to activities as diverse as schnitz n tits and the Fringe?
I am deeply suspicious of you.
Anyway, I hear Eddie Perfect is good. Although this gent (whose opinion is ever charming) has seen the show and disagrees.
You and your 'ladies' can judge for yourselves I suppose.
Thanks dude/Listen you!
Points to be made in my defence:
1. One girl is plenty enough to play Travel Connect4.
2. See C. Lauper song title.
3. Schnitz 'n' Tits not happened yet, may chase it down with Twister.
4. You can talk, you Pash Party Inventor/Tongue Toucher of Many Tongues!!!!
Why am I always misunderstood? I have no doubt that Mr Perfect is 'good' - witness the name! It's just that my snarky and unconsidered response to the show was conceived-ill (not in the good 'ill' or even Benny 'ill ways). I've told Eddie I'm sorry, but perhaps I forgot to tell you all: sorry. And to all of your as yet unborn children, also: sorry.
i forgive you, but my unborn is a stubborn little bastard.
Comments are closed.