Why are people so fucking fucked*?
So I sent a little package to my platonic life-partner Krankiboy . I'm generous like that. Also I have a notion that when I give people free stuff they'll warm to me more and overlook my many character flaws. Here's hoping it pays off.
Anyhow, aside from some hot Polichicks gear, a signed Bob Ellis book and a killer MattyB record, I also bought him a dvd copy of The Office , series 1. Firstly because it is one of the most brilliant things I have ever seen and secondly because smart American people need to be let in on worldwide comedy secrets lest they be culturally raped by shows like The Fresh Prince of Bel Air . Boy, that Will Smith was sure out of place in a wealthy suburb! Can I get a witness?? HAHAHA!
I ordered Kranki's dvd from Sanity and after I'd hooked it up this little message appeared at the bottom of the screen:
'Similar titles you may also enjoy:
• OFFICE / OFFICE - SERIES 2
• AMERICAN PIE 2
• CAT EMPIRE / CAT EMPIRE'
PLEASE FUCKING EXPLAIN TO ME HOW PEOPLE WHO MAY APPRECIATE THE PITHY AND SHARPLY OBSERVED HUMOUR OF RICKY GERVAIS AND STEPHEN MERCHANT WOULD THEN JIVE ENTHUSIASTICALLY TO THE FUCKING CAT EMPIRE ???
I don't much care for the Cat Empire. And it's not just because they are twee Confest**-esque happy-pant wearing dildoids playing music that was 'big in Fitzroy' eleven years ago. It's also because of lyrics like this:
'Walking down the street
with some evil in my eye
and some thoughts in my head
that were making me feel high
on my head was a hoodi
in my ears was some bass
was walking by my dog
when I saw that sexy face
come towards me
with a little cheeky smile
if she was a phone
I'd pick her up and dial
the fire brigade
or zero zero zero
she stopped me in my tracks
and I saidmmm hchello hchello'
Seriously. 'If she was a phone/I'd pick her up and dial'?? Oh my god.
Not to mention that if some borderline street-performer guy like this:
came up to me and said: 'mmmm hchello hchello' I would stab him with a fork.
Fucking Cat Empire. Fuck off.
*Can you tell I've only got two more days left of work? After Thursday you just know I'm going to be a lady of leisure for three weeks. I plan on sleeping like Robert Downey Jr on the tail-end of a binge and also dancing naked to Wolfmother in my backyard.
**The Confest website actually has these words as greeting:
'Hi there groovers !!!!
This web space is dedicated to confest,
for its continual rejuvenation, evolution and spirit
in this new millennium, 2000 and beyond.'
Never trust hippies who over-use exclamation marks. I have spoken.
1030 days til the next election.
Comments
C'mon fits, most lyrics taken on their own are pretty crap. They've got serious melody and rhythm, even if it is all a bit cliched in places.
And you sound like you are taking an 'i'm too ubercool for last year's sound' line, which may be true, but it's a bit pretentious.
This year's ubercool fitzroy group appear to be True Live, and it doesn't get more pretentious, fake or posturing than True Live.
This post has been removed by a blog administrator.
This post has been removed by a blog administrator.
This post has been removed by a blog administrator.
(this thing has a problem with fucking line breaks - 3rd time lucky. Please.)
Also I have a notion that when I give people free stuff they'll warm to me more and overlook my many character flaws.Good notion. You should act on it as often as possible.
Well then, colour me cooler than fuck because I have no idea who True Live is.
I don't dislike the Cat Empire because I am yaya Fitzroyalty. I dislike them because they remind me of an itchy scab. If you knew me you would no doubt celebrate my often lame taste in music, as it makes me a more well-rounded individual.
signed, pretentious fucker. x
This post has been removed by a blog administrator.
This post has been removed by a blog administrator.
Pooters and timing hate me today.
See you on set at the BBCC, you pretentious fucker.
Then we need to go and check out True Live, if we can find them.
Cat Empire are last year's Brown Hornet.
And I mean that in a totally they suck Satan's **** sort of way.
The only good Hello Hello! is Chris and Marie's Nursery advertisements...it's funny cause they're nude!
Sheriff - so true.
And Fits, you just keep ruling till you cannae rule no more. I laughed so hard at the 'stab him with a fork' call that I think I peed a little.
Yeah- I laughed at that one too.
I was only being contrary, wasn't meant as a personal attack. I enjoy Robbie Williams so I can't talk about taste.
PS True Live are on at Evelyn this weekend. THey're jazz musos teamed up with a couple of rappers. I initially enjoyed them but then I saw someone heckling them in a completely friendly way and the lead rapper (Yo Yo dudes I hate the US etc) exploded "shut the fuck up man" which I thought was a bit of an ego burst. Bass player is phenomenal.
The Cat Empire are total shite. Until this day I thought I was in a minority, not anymore! Thanks Ms Fits
evil in my eye? is that some kind of euphemism?
anyways, back to this polichicks stuff. do you ship internationally? totally meant to get an I'd Rather Be Voting bag before i left but i am crap and disorganised and i also forgot to get my cousin a koala tshirt for xmas but i dont think you do those, do you? meh.
This post has been removed by a blog administrator.
Yes! One more step on the road to Buddliness.
Cat Empire, what is it with their nutty fans? They go ape-shit for those bongos. It’s crazy. But you know, for work reasons, I really love them.
"hello, hello,
OLA!"
"playing music that was 'big in Fitzroy' eleven years ago" - that is the best summation of exactly why I hate those clowns.
Oh Ms Fits. As always, you sing to the choir.
I just got the Office Christmas special the other day. I laughed, I cried, I hurled.
Also, the Fresh Prince, to be fair, is pretty elderly now. Why not pick something more recently fucked, like "What's Up With Raymond" or whatever that condensed form of misery is called.
Thirdly, what's with the stiffpricks who act like its a crime to call the Cat Empire what the are -- a talentless troupe of derivative, cockless babies?
Like they're the pride of Melbourne or something. Like we need another gay funk/jazz/fusion thingy in this city. I feel like making them a mix CD with Lightening Bolt on it with the title "GET A CLUE, FUCKHEADS".
Sorry. I am also pretentious, clearly, but my heart is in the right place. I also do not have a 'web log' on the 'interweb', and had to go commando.
with love,
Adam
"Stiff Prick"? That's the best insult I've ever copped on the chin.
What it is, Adam dear, is that when you post on a blog you don't always expect everybody (even given Ms Fits' rather adulating fan club) to jump up and down and cry "me too".
Fits is a big girl, and knowing I'm also one of her adulating fans I'm sure she'll survive a contrary opinion without suffering too much pain.
Yourself- perhaps swap the short machiatto for a chamomile tea down at Black Cat this eve...
Northcoteknob.blogspot.com
Oh my god! A stoush in the comments section!
*races to put on bikini and carry placard around ring*
p.s. actually, I think I prefer 'undulating' fans. How hot does that sound?
I'm going to the bathroom...
Knob
What, during the stoush?
Kinky.
Sorry, I was not referring to anyone here (as I don't know you all), but more Sam at my work. Who defends them somewhat huffily. She goes a bit red in the face as well. I feel bad. God, sorry.
Adam
I can't believe the stoush petered out so quickly.
Still. I'm totally going to get Sam from your work in a fucking headlock.
Shit you guys make me laugh...and homesick.
Sly in Tanzania for four more weeks
cat empire, huh? the fact that they cause such a ruckus in your comments section is probably enough of a compliment. something's gotta bit a bit interesting to be hated, methinks. i like them coz they make me wanna boogie. and that's not such a bad thing...
also, you can't - well, YOU probably can and will, but I can't - dislike something just coz it was big in fitzroy when i was fifteen and hardly knew fitzroy existed except for nuclear alaskas at the then unlicensed black cat.
adios,
anon x
but you can definitely dislike them just coz you fucking want to, some of their lyrics ARE dumb and if you stabbed any of them in the eye with a fork i bet it'd make for interesting lyrics. yup, so that's a physical challenge to you, ms fits.
Hey kids! If you want to see True Live, and other shit-house bands like Shihad nee Pacifier aka Shihad, playing in a carpark, why not go to the Beat Christmas party? It's on this Friday and guaranteed to be a riot - I should know, because my dripweed ex who told me to "burn in hell" is really excited about going!
ps - for those who are wondering where the freak I've gone, Telstra have killed my phone/internet. Soon I'll be back, with Meredith photos!!
Eh. Never bought their album because it was on that Copy Controlled bullshit. Is that what they do? OK.
Of course, the fluffyheads will probably do a google looking for nice sites about the Cat Empire spam your blog telling you what a heartless, soulless, bigot you are. I got the same treatment a couple of years back because I said nasty things about George. Fuck'em. The world needs less bands full of gits.
Cat Empire can suck my balls.
And The Office, whilst mildly amusing, is the most overrated show of the past three years.
Make shocked face and hold hand over mouth.
No, no, Dave. I figure you only find The Office overrated because, like me, you mix in circles which talked about it all the time.
You want overrated, take Kath & Kim. Great show, very funny. But mainstream appeal has shocked me out of my inner-suburban pinko lefty complacency to hear Sharon & Darren on public transport exclaim "Yeah, it's funny cos it's true".
Oh my God! People actually relate to this! I'm glad we lost the suburban vote. I can hold my head up high that that the good bogans of Fountain Lakes and Tranquil Waters prefer Johnny.
As much as I hate that Cat Empire, I think you should be fucked off with Sanity. They randomly choose a title from their database & that's the extent of it really.
What is "stoush?" I've not seen the "Office", I've never heard, or before today, heard of: "Cat Empire," Liberace's Harem-WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE. "Fresh Prince of Unreal" was a sitcom I have seen, a long time ago, about the time pop culture and I divorced and I subsequently cancelled my cable TV subscription. I'm sure right down the Road was Sanford's Junkyard and in the cut episodes the Fresh Prince is haggling with Sanford and his son regarding establishing a price on his Belair Neighbors "old" stuff.
Dr. H.O. Potamus
And finally, I'm with ya on the Hippies, but always, always trust, admire and infinitely love and cherish the Hippo's!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dr. H.O. Potamus
am i the only one who thinks it is more disturbing that they think people who like the office will also like fucking "american pie" or even worse "american pie 2"!!
the office was edge and clever american pie was crap
worlds gone to fucking hell in a handbasket.
I'm back, where's that damn stoush gone?!
Adam was too nice, really. First he used 'stiffcock' as an insult, which for a 30 something male is hard to take badly, then he apologises.
Don't be silly boy, you were supposed to come back and slate me for liking Robbie WIlliams.
As for fits; you can put me in a headlock any day of the week...
BTW while we are promoting music, Wesley Anne on high st northcote has an open mike night Tuesdays, and there are a couple of very good performers, especially the guy with long thin hair aka Michael Bolton. ALso Mountain Goat on tap...
Tillops said : "You want overrated, take Kath & Kim. Great show, very funny". I agree that it's overrated, but I don't agree that it's "very funny". It's like Little Britain - I keep watching it because it was funny once, and I convince yourself that it's still funny, even though it really isn't.
The Cat Empire. There's a 2003 trend we're not likely to see much more of. And thank christ for that. Terrible song. What was the deal with it being played every second minute of NYE last year? Lucky I was off my face on all sorts of things and could handle it without smashing shit.
Adam 1.0
People who shop at Sanity (online, no less) railing against local musical talent. Class.
When I add the Mcleod's Daughters dvd to my "shopping basket" on sanity.com.au, I'm recommended Edward Scissorhands. Breathe it in, Fits. That's as close as you're gonna get.
*inhales deeply*
fuck, that shit is HOT. You are SO RIGHT.
You say Cat Empire are shit because they play music that was cool in Fitzroy 11 years ago. No worries. But I've never lived or listened to music in Fitzroy and I reckon they're pretty bloody entertaining.
YOu go Jonas, keep the debate alive!
While we're at it I like all of Frank Sinatra's slow cheesy ballads, especially Wee Small Hours and My Funny Valentine....
Wow.
All I know:
McLeod's Daughters can't go straight through to the keeper, not if Cat Fempire is going to have their schoolboy faces rubbed in the mud, Channel Nine know EXACTLY what they're doing and it's kind of Hallmark and weird.
Stoushes invariably stop when when bikinis and/or placards appear.
Cat Fempire may just fall shy of being a stoushable topic. The place I went to school when someone said 'stoush' they meant 'I'm going to pop your nose open after school'.
Drinking at the Espy in the sun is tops.
All I didn't know:
That there was sand anywhere in St Kilda, or that people slept on it.
Drinking in Fitzroy surely rocks. The Standard anyone? I can fricken taste the attitude now. Well east coast girls are hip / I really...
a) Cat Empire
b) "Local musical talent"
I'm not sure how the two go together. Somebody please draw a diagram.
Adam 1.0
They often play on the same bill as local musical talent.
For christ sakes... music in Fizroy hasn't changed in 11 years!!
Buttman
That's really perceptive. I think most people would have gone for American Pie, but The Cat Empire is actually far more annoying when you think about it. Nice call.
Mark
www.papertrap.net
I love most things. But when it comes to music FUCK THE CAT EMPIRE, i hpoe they die and go to hell. The "fitzroy" thing you mentioned is so ture and now i realise why i want to vomit everytime i hear "hello, hello" OMG i thought i was the only one, thank god there is alot of other people who think they should eat shit.Cat empire bad lyrics annoying no talent no nothing!
oh come on people. all of you seem to have to bad opinion of The Cat Empire, they're my favourite band, so i made it my mission to at least try to change your minds.
If u hate them and havent seen them live, you actually have no basis to say they are shite. i met them a yr or so ago after the release of their first cd. these guys are funky and down to earth. they arent 'uber' anything. they're just 6 guys who happen to make great music. i danced all night the night we hung out with them. they're tallented. they're good at what they do. if you dont like the jazz - hiphop beat they have, then dont buy their cd. its not like they're incredibly radio famous so your not subject to their music to often. These guys play their instuments well and entertain their audience. their lyrics may seem "crap" or "cliched" but i think the lyrics are fun. 'hcello hcello' as an attention grabbing song which made them famous in Australia. just like 'love dont cost a thing' helped j-lo on her road to success. come on... all lyrics are a little tacky. these guys have found they rhythm ... so now maybe u should try to find yours instead of bringing down our amazing aussie bands!
yeah by the way... CALM THE FUCK DOWN. i read about half the comments and that got me annoyed enough to post a comment... but "i hope the fucking cat empire die and go to hell"?? is just crossing the line. get a life mad, the boys make music, they're not fucking nazi's! take it easy. if u dont like em, block your fucking ears. its obvious they have some fucking tallent or they wouldnt be where they are now. ignorance is bliss if u dont like something. so david, build a fucking bridge mate.
Thank you Hazal for a good argument int he affirmative for Cat Empire.
Somebody said,
"The Cat Empire. There's a 2003 trend we're not likely to see much more of."
*rofl* really? It's 2005, heard "Sly" on the radio lately?! 'Nuff said.
I feel sorry for you people that haven't given The Cat Empire a chance, because honestly, their music is a philosphy for life we should all live by - "I'm gonna die with a twinkle in my eye, coz I sung songs, spun stories, loved, laughed and drank wine".
IS it just because they're happy and you're not? Because if that's the case (which it sounds like IS the case) I hope you find a better outlook on life soon, or you're gonna get old fast.
Bec, 20, QLD.
Thank you Hazal for a good argument int he affirmative for Cat Empire.
Somebody said,
"The Cat Empire. There's a 2003 trend we're not likely to see much more of."
*rofl* really? It's 2005, heard "Sly" on the radio lately?! 'Nuff said.
I feel sorry for you people that haven't given The Cat Empire a chance, because honestly, their music is a philosphy for life we should all live by - "I'm gonna die with a twinkle in my eye, coz I sung songs, spun stories, loved, laughed and drank wine".
IS it just because they're happy and you're not? Because if that's the case (which it sounds like IS the case) I hope you find a better outlook on life soon, or you're gonna get old fast.
Bec, 20, QLD.
im so lonely and alone i have no life soo im like all u other losers that post comments on the internet about the cat empire hahahahahahah
about time ben... thank you. someone who appriciates the music. i have a feeling that if u ppl actually listen to their cd, you'd end up dancing around your room shaking your ass. the guys know how to make music. nuff said ;)
"WE BELIEVE in the grass in the trees WE SUPPORT living life coz life is short WE UPHOLD sky of blue sun of gold WE MAINTAIN on sunny days all sadness and pain be relieved WE BELIEVE the breeze blows the leaves in the gypsy king's court WE SUPPORT food and wine song and thought when the night gets cold WE UPHOLD the following rules that i'll sing to u all... we believe in melody and harmony and all things sweet..."
lol ur SO RIGHT bec n hazal! Da cat enpire r gr8 n i saw da guyz on da telly last week n they seem relly happy n fun n why doz other ppl wanna judge em for ther soles??
an hazal - im backin u lol EVERYBODY CALM THE FUCKING DOWN YOU FUCKING BESERK MOTHERFUCKERS OR ILL FUCKING KILL YOU SHUT THE HELL UP ABOUT THE CAT EMPIRE I AM GOING TO HAVE THEIR BABIES HELLO HELLO!
AND YOU CAN SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT THEIR AWFUL LYRICS COS THEIR LYRICS ARE GREAT, ESPECIALLY THE BIT WHERE THEY GO 'DAYS LIKE THESE THAT MAKE US HAPPY, LIKE A PUPPY GETTING LUCKY WITH A LASSIE' WHICH TOTALLY REEKS OF CANINE PEDOPHILIA.
so yeh lol like, u shld all carlm down k thx!
lke omgz can u even speak english???
i like the cat empire, its just happy music that sounds great on a sunday afternoon. sure theres some sole and deepness there like in two shoes and misere but my fave soungs are just the happy ones like the car song. their just fun
Comments are closed.