Reasons you will hate me

Would you like one or two sugars with your anal rape?

News from NSW, and it's all good. Opposition leader John Brogden is antsy because a convicted rapist - known, in Olsen twins-esque fashion, as 'MMK' - has been caught sticking it to his girlfriend during a contact visit. Cue much wailing and gnashing of teeth as everyone bemoans the lack of security and why-aren't-my-tax-dollars-being-better-spent-etcetera. The thing I loved most about this was a gem I found tacked on the end of another article about same:


'Kariong is the state's only maximum security juvenile facility, and houses the "worst of the worst" offenders, he said.
Recently a tour group of pensioners, looking for a coffee shop, were allowed into Kariong by mistake.'


Is this not genius? Where does one begin? Is it in the it-could-happen-to-anyone mistaking of a maximum security prison for a 'Scones 'n' Things'-type tea-room? Or is it that this shuffling group of demented old people were allowed in by mistake ? At what point did someone twig that the group of greys with rambling sticks and disposable cameras might perhaps not belong in 'C' Wing with Hank 'the Bank' Carlyle and 'Buttons' Hudson? How far did they get before they grew shitty about the service? Was there at least one anal rape?
Unbelievable. Just when Friday is looking all gloomy, along comes a feel-good news tale of old people and prison sex.


p.s. Go to the Evelyn tonight to see Your Wedding Night and my new favourite band the Young Professionals. I will be the one losing my gourd with lust somewhere in the room.




22 days til the election.
58 days til Gabi comes home.

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