You know you're in trouble when you wake up on the side of Evil (plus Gabi's q and a).
How confronting. I think I'm somewhat on the side of Eddie McGuire in his radio stoush with notoriously grumpy Green Guide television critic Ross Warneke.
In short: Warneke wasn't much of a fan of the Commonwealth Games 'Lolly Ladies' Closing Ceremony. Neither was I, but I didn't write a scathing opinion piece in the paper having a crack at everything from sound quality (essentially out of Nine's hands) to the lack of Melburnians involved in the hosting gig (and wasn't Our Ray a peach?).
If I may quote:
WARNEKE: You only ring when you want to grizzle.
MCGUIRE: Mate, you're the grizzler, pal, because I just can't believe this crap you've written in the paper this morning, to be perfectly honest, because it's misinformed and it's mischievous …
EDDIE ACTUALLY WENT ON RADIO WITH THE 'YOU ARE' DEFENCE.
Also he used the word 'crap'. McGuire 1, Warneke 0.
MCGUIRE: Mate, we still have to shell out $1.20 for your paper when it's full of The Guardian and AAP copy, and - as for your points about not having enough Melbourne people - how many people actually, non- Age writers, wrote in your coverage of the Commonwealth Games at The Age?
McGuire 2, Warneke 0.
How about the choice of Our Ray and Liz Hayes as hosts?
MCGUIRE: They're Nine's best. It wasn't as if we pulled two people off the street.
Er...interesting argument. WE DIDN'T USE BAG LADIES OR TRAMPS, WARNEKE. WE DIDN'T USE BAG LADIES OR TRAMPS.
True, though. If Eds had chosen non-network 'celebrities' (and I use this term lightly when referring to Liz Hayes) he would have been pilloried. The dozy cassock.
I'll call that an even round.
WARNEKE: Why didn't you commentate at the Games, Eddie?
MCGUIRE: I'm not a sports commentator anymore.
WARNEKE: You were on TV last night.
MCGUIRE: Pre-recorded from a couple of weeks ago, as you know.
WARNEKE: When you were CEO.
BOWLED HIM, WARNEKE.
McGuire 2, Warneke 1.
Here's McGuire responding to Warneke's crack on not having enough 'Australia' in the ceremonies:
MCGUIRE: Mate, put it this way. You reckon we weren't biased enough in our opening and closing ceremonies, but you also said we were too biased in our coverage of the Australians throughout the [Games]. It's a bit hard when we win 3000 medals not to show Australians winning all the time.
I'll fucking say.
McGuire 3, Warneke 1.
And the final body blow as Warneke starts to worry if he's gone too far and attempts to jokingly salvage his career:
WARNEKE: Ah, well. How about we have a lunch then?
MCGUIRE: Sorry, Ross, nice going. Mate, your lunch has been forsaken and gone.
THAT'S A DECISIVE VICTORY TO MCGUIRE.
And I believe he used the word 'Mate' four times. He also threw a 'pal' in there. That's gotta hurt.
UPDATE:
Here is the previously promised Gabi q and a session.
Anonymous said...
If I was to book a Suite at the Grand Hyatt for two nights, in the last week of April; buy some "assorted sexual party tricks" and some "assorted white party tricks"; have a pre dinner cocktail at Gin Palace before dining at an inner city restaurant of my date's choosing after which we would laugh ourselves stupid and retire back to the room to play naked light bondage games and drink the mini-bar dry whilst ordering madly from the room service menu...
Do you think Gabi might like to come with me?
GABI SAYS:
Well knock me over with a feather, what a wondrous albeit, inadvertent invitation. Your attention to detail is exemplary and may I say, breathtaking. I'd have to be bereft of a pulse and perhaps a beloved (ahem) to turn this offer down. However, if I was to develop a terrible headache at the eleventh hour, would it be ok if I sent Ms Fits along as my proxy?
Is it wrong to answer my first question with another question? Fiddlesticks, I just did it again.
Anonymous said...
Question for Gabi:
Do you think there is a need for a Burlesque Photography Code of Conduct in Melbourne? I would rather have everything spelt out in advance than spend hours uploading photos, only to have to take them down again (I only have dialup at home.)
GABI SAYS:
Gracious me Anonymous, sounds as if you've had some curious responses to your photographic forays. I've always been of the opinion that one can no longer claim full ownership of their work once it is presented in a public arena, as it inevitably becomes subject to a myriad of interpretations, judgements and in your case documentation. It is however, important to be mindful of the context in which a work is being presented, particularly if it features nudity. Perhaps you could consult with the artists you have photographed before going to the trouble of publishing your images on the internet?
590 days til the next election.
Comments
Feel better soon Fits
LC xx
At least no one at the nine network is responsible for the bum chin family and their artistic skills
Let's just blame Eddie for it anyway, andrewm. IT'S SIMPLER THAT WAY.
I always blame Eddie. At least he's not on the box anymore.
Is waking up on the Dark-Side a cause or effect of the the bad Today?
Some Lindt or something may help ... sugar suspended in fat is often the answer.
I generally enjoy Thursdays because I get punched quite hard and that always has a wonderful effect on one's perspective.
Ross obviously did not learn his lesson, he was on Neil Mitchell's show this morning having another pop at Eddie over the new Footy show, not sure if Edddie phoned him from London to continue the duel.
Apart from his connections to the bogan&bashing team Eddie is overpilloried.
The fact that either he decided not to run or was not pursued hard enough by the Labor party has probably been a significant loss because, for all his annoying faults, he'd be pretty damn electable.
Thankyou Gabi. Ms Fits would be a wonderful proxy, though she may be busy as she is often found to be, so perhaps it is best if I enjoy the date alone with a book. I'll let you know how it goes.
Ps. You write wonderfully.
Has Eddie's grasp of english got any better? I used to cringe everytime I'd accidently hear him asking someone if they wanted to be a "me-yonair"...
Dear Gabi (if you ever decide to do another Q&A),
I saw The Burlesque Hour at the Spiegeltent last year, which of course had The Town Bikes performing as guest artists.
There was a segment featuring Moira Finucane (the one where she looks rather Victorian and doesn't do very much) that confused the hell out of the audience (including me) the day I went.
Was that just that me and that audience in our essential naffness, or did that happen a lot? Or don't you know, because you were getting ready for your next routine...
More generally, what are some of the more memorable audience responses you've gotten?
Well I dont agree with all this sex on the telly......I keep falling off!
(Where do I get paid?)
Yamez Bamez
Well, you see, there's the problem right there, Fits, because the winner in a showdown between two complete fuckwits is still a fuckwit, by definition.
I feel there has been far too much attention paid to the Queen's own Inter-school sports gymkhana, and the very fact it has seeped into even your fine blog is testament to the fact that the fuckwits in general are winning.
I know it's human nature to debate the most meaningless and mundane of events to the point of martial intervention. But this is surely a new low in on air stoushes.
"Your coverage was crap"
"No it wasn't, your media analysis is crap"
Repeat, ad nausaeum
I reckon Eddie rocks. There's something very Bob Brown about his willingness to tackle his critics head-on. I can't see a useless coward like PBL's John Alexander doing the same thing.
I don't like Millionaire, or the Footy show, but Eddie will do us proud. Go Ed.
Eddie should have thrown in a "sport" and a "choice bro" as well, before finishing off on a decisive "tiger"
Eddie is a blight on thought; his celebration of mate-y, lowest common denominator everything – but, worse, his smugness while having it so much better than the battlerdom patter he dribbles shit in – makes me sick. Thank god I don't watch much telly then.
Re: Burlesque photos – having shot most of the burlesque troupes in melbs for publication, I find consultation a must. You should treat it like any other photo-shoot in terms of permission/clearance etc, but the 'money shot' (as it were) in burlesque acts is exactly NOT what the gals are (usually) selling – the performative journey (dance, song, comedy, exploding watermelons, etc) there is more important. So to post a boob shot out of the context of the whole number would kind of be to miss the point/de-value the exact 'voice' that differentiates burlesque from stripping.
Re Burlesque - as a performer all I can say that if you were a PROFESSIONAL photographer then you would have asked permission to take photos of the performers in the first place before putting them on the internet. It's called ETIQUETTE and PROFESSIONALISM. You may own the copyright of the photos but as performers, we own copyright of our image and it should not be reproduced and displayed without our consent.
May I just say; I found this post (and even these comments) to be highly amusing.
Brilliant!
:)
You may own the copyright of the photos but as performers, we own copyright of our image and it should not be reproduced and displayed without our consent.
This is not true (it is also why I carry a copy of the Copyright Act around with me, because no one seems to know it). You may reproduce any image, without copyright permission, for the purposes of reporting of news, or for criticism or review. Any photograph, any painting, any image.
You may not reproduce any image for the purposes of financial gain, i.e making a t-shirt out of it, or a non-critical book, without the permission of the copyright holder. Who is normally, in this case, the person who takes the photograph. Not the person in the photograph, or, as many galleries wrongly think, the person who owns that photograph.
This is different if you are using it for financial gain, i.e making a film, poster, t shirt, calender etc.
If it is for criticism, or review, and I think a blog would fall into that category, it is copyright free.
Can you imagine if every review of dance, theatre, art etc. in newspapers had to get copyright permission for every image of every performer/artists work they used from the person in that photo? Especially when most critics write their review for the following days paper? Nothing would ever get reviewed, and that would mean your name may never be known, performer.
dear sublime-ation - i don't want to get into a flaming argument because i am happy to be corrected re the copyright thing but as a performer - especially one that gets her gear off in a much misinterpreted context - i don't rely on personal blogs for publicity. i'm happy for people to review my work and photograph me but i've turned publicity down before when it's been in the wrong context . i'd rather not be heard at all than known for 'the girl who has her tits on show in so-and-so's blog'. if mr stop-bitching-about-having-dialup is so pissed off at the timely exercise of taking photos down then he should perhaps spend a little more time introducing himself to performers at the gig and asking their permission to post photos. when asked in this way i will almost always say yes - i don't appreciate being sent links to strange websites where my tits are looking back at me.
i've only ever had a problem with the non-professional photographers in this context. the professional photographers know the etiquette. i'm anonymous because i don't want the amateur bill hensons of melbourne posting my tit pics outta spite when there's nothing i can legally do about it or not posting them at all - again, not an issue when i deal with PROFESSIONALS.
just my two cents.
Yes, it is different when nudity is involved. Especially if it's your nudity that's involved.And it's different when it's dodgy websites that are involved, too.
Just as a writer/critic I get fed up with the whole current paranoia over copyright, it's gone out of control.
I love the phrase 'amateur Bill Hensons of Melbourne'.
May I steal it?
Dearr sublime-ation, of course you can steal it. Thanks fer asking. heh.
question for gabi ..
there's a tom waits song, the name of which i can't remember -- it's on rain dogs though -- anyway, every time i hear it, i have a mental image of the town bikes gyrating madly to it.
is this because you actually perform to this song? i have only seen you once so i can't be sure .. but i really need to know.
you were great by the way.
Dear Gabi,
Are you going to the Suicide Girls extravaganza burlesque thingy? What do you think about the recent revival of burlesque as an art form? I mean, you've been doing this for a while, yeah? Is it a bit like when you have liked a band for ages, and then suddenly they're all cool and on Video Hits being interviewed by Axel (or whatever that guy's name is - why do I know this) and mobbed by tweens?
Reminds me of the time I was heckled as a 'try-hard' by a 14 year old at Brisbane 4ZZZ Market Day for wearing a Sonic Youth t-shirt, despite Sonic Youth being old enough for the 14 year old to be their love child.
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I cut and paste from http://myhandbook.info/codes_exascii.html
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